The First Secret Of Getting What You Want is Knowing What you Want.

Fear is a Bitch until you learn to take it with you. If you could do anything what would it be?

In this blog post, I will share with you the importance of allowing yourself to have big dreams. You might not know at first what to do, but you will figure it out. Live your dream.  I will share with you the story of wanting to take my kids on a trip around the world, how scared I was to ask off of work that long, how I got creative on how to make it happen, and how epic our trip ended up being because I took the risk. 

Here are the three steps so that you can live your dream too. 

1.  Know what you want and why you want it

2.  Get creative on how to make it happen

3. Do whatever it takes to make it happen/ Experience the dream  

You have to know what you want in order for it to ever come to fruition. The How comes later. Live Baby Live, the impossible is possible. When you read this you will learn how to use fear, how to make it your fuel, your friend, so that nothing will keep you from experiencing all that you want to experience!

I think life is too long and too short, to not do what you want to do. And so often we feel limited by society, or what we think is possible, or what our parents have told us is possible, or our friends. And it's just not true. I have had the dream since my kids were little, to take them on a trip around the world.

I decided, one day, I'm gonna do that with my kids. My amazing parents took us on vacations every summer. We didn't fly, we drove everywhere. But we went, we always knew that two weeks a year we were going to be together as a family. And it was always the best memories of the year. We couldn't tell you what we got for Christmas. But we could tell you where we went on vacation, and what we did. And so I wanted to take my kids on a trip around the world.  How do you do something like that? That seems like it's too big a dream, right? And I was like, "No, I'm gonna do it."

So for years, I thought about it. And for years, I saved for it. And then I realized that the time was coming to take them. This was my window. My kids were just graduating from high school. Brayden was still in the area, I didn't know how long it was going to be.  I really wanted to give my kids, Brayden, Tate, and Zander the experience of completely traveling around the world.

I was scared. How do I ask for three months off work? How do I actually do that? Who dares to do that? I was an assistant manager, I had responsibilities. I was their top rep in the whole company. They wrote budgets based on my attendance. I was so scared. And then the money. Two rooms. I didn't want to be in the room with three teenage boys. And they didn't want me in their room either. And so it had to be two rooms everywhere we went. If we're going to do this, we have to do this! I'm not going to half-ass it, this is our trip around the world.

I had to get creative on how I am going to pull this off. And I did. I went for it. I got the time off work. My boss was so blown away by the idea that he wished he had the guts to do it. He's like "There's got to be a way to leverage something, this amazing." And so long story short, here's what I did. I traded a four-minute video of our trip for points that could be used for hotel stays. It saved them 235,000(the cost of a family and video crew), saved me over 10,000, and gave us a 5-star experience. So we went to 13 countries over 64 days. We went to Vancouver first, to have Canada Day because we're Canadian. I have friends there that literally picked us up in their boat and took us to their house and we spent a few days with them in Canada. It was amazing. Then we went to Hawaii and we had an amazing time there. Just enjoying the amazing trees, waterfalls, beaches and so many glorious things there.

The Philippines was next and we flew all the way around the other side of the world. This is where my grandparents were missionaries for over 10 years. This is where they were almost killed in a plane crash. The pilot actually died. And so I have memories and ties to the Philippines because of my grandparents and it was amazing to visit the island of Cebu.  We got to Canyoneer... through the canyons, one of my favorite memories is when we got to the activity and they asked if we needed water shoes. We did, so we followed this little kid as he scampered off the trail in between the dogs and the cats and the chickens we got to his front porch, and there on the front porch was a bunch of used, worn-out, tennis shoes and socks hanging on a clothesline. “Pick whatever one you want,” he said with a big grin on his face. The boys looked at me with raised eyebrows and I looked back at them and grinned "Okay when in Rome, do as the Romans" so we took off our shoes and put on their shoes, and we sloshed through the canyon in these used tennis shoes and socks. It was epic jumping off cliffs into pristine pools!  

From the Philippines, we went to Bali. Bali was a surprise location. They didn't know where we were going until the morning of... wow, Bali was the place where we drank coffee made from wombat poo. It’s an animal that eats coffee and it poops it out and then they filter the poo to make coffee... It's considered a fancy thing.  We all tried it, it tasted like coffee to me. We also got to swing on a huge swing. One of the biggest I’ve ever seen. We swung back and forth out over a huge cliff in this beautiful scenery of rice paddies and jungle. It was epic. We saw some tribal dancing, and we went up to a monastery and enjoyed seeing the monkeys and the monks. It was beautiful.

Then from Bali, we went to Thailand. Thailand is one of my favorite places on the planet. We spent our longest time there, almost a week. We got to visit monasteries, and oh, my favorite day, probably of the whole trip, was hanging out with the elephants. I remember there was this moment where Tate was literally walking through the jungle beside a ginormous elephant, with his hand upon his hip, patting it. Tate can feel everything. And he looked back, he could feel me watching him. He looks back and gives me a big smile. At that moment, I could have died a happy woman. I was blown away. “We're doing it. I talked about this for years. And here we are in Thailand. And we're doing it.” My kids are seeing the world and they understand that humans are humans. And they're enjoying different animals in different cultures and different foods, different temperatures, and different clothing.  It made my heart so happy. We'd spend almost every evening in the night market there in Chiang Mai buying things for next to nothing. The kids were excited because their dollar went forever. They got to buy all kinds of goodies and fun stuff. The food... oh my gosh, I could live in Thailand just for the food.

From Thailand, we went to India. We did Delhi, Agra and Jaipur, what they call the Golden Triangle.  One of our favourite moments is going by bike cart, called a rickshaw, through the Old Spice Market of Old Delhi. The amount of people, chaos, smells and colours completely assault your senses. You don't know where to look. It's the most glorious, disgusting... it's everything. India is everything all at once. And if you've ever been there, you'll know exactly what I mean. India is everything all at once.

India was amazing. The Taj Mahal was epic, unbelievable. That property, that building, the story. It was really special to be there with my three boys and to have that memory. On the way to Jaipur, we stopped at the monkey temple. It was literally like out of the cartoon "Jungle Book". We had a monkey whisperer as our guide. He literally called them out from all over and they would come out of the buildings and out from the trees, hundreds of them and they would follow him and us. He would give us food to feed them and they would literally climb on top of us. I have the best pictures of the smiles on our faces with these monkeys messing with our hair sitting on our heads on our shoulders, hanging out... They are the best photos you could ever imagine. Pure joy, pure bliss, is what we experienced there in India. 

From India, we went to South Africa. And in South Africa, we got to do a safari. We literally stayed in a tent in the middle of an African bush, using an outhouse for a bathroom. They  warned us by saying "Make sure you go to the bathroom in pairs and don't run." And we're like, "Why?" They looked us straight in the eye and said "Because prey runs." In unison, we all said  "Shit." So basically, they're saying don't run because the animals that exist in and around there could literally kill us on the way to the bathroom. So we did not run. And we went in pairs. Thankfully we were all still able to see the elephants and zebras and hippos all hanging out in the waterhole. It's literally like Lion King. We got to have an experience where they do this thing where they lit elephant poop on fire. Apparently, it has healing properties and we got to breathe it in. It clears your nostrils and your sinuses. And wow did it ever! If you have a cold that's what the indigenous people there do, they breathe in the elephant dung. 

From Africa, we went to Greece. We went to Santorini, Greece. We love Greece. We watched the amazing sunsets on the top of the pathways overlooking the ocean. From Greece, we went to Munich, Germany, and we enjoyed the English Garden, a huge beautiful park. We biked through the city and had an amazing time. From Germany, we went to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is one of the most amazing cities. We love Amsterdam. We biked our legs off there. We ate more cheese than I like to admit... I normally don't eat cheese because I'm vegan but I cheated for Amsterdam. Paid for it. But we enjoyed Amsterdam. Super fun.

And then from Amsterdam, we went to Barcelona, Spain, and Barcelona is also one of my favorite cities. We walked and biked everywhere and got to see Gaudi's big Cathedral... seeking out different cultures and different ways. I surprised the kids by taking them to see Mesi at the amazing Camp Nu stadium! We all love soccer, and have played for years!  I even played in a men’s traveling soccer league when I was 30. We sat in the 11th row from the field, in the corner, so for half of the game Mesi was right in front of us. He scored twice on our side of the field and that experience was one of the happiest moments of my life! Seeing the kids' faces when he scored, I’ll hold it in my heart forever.

From Barcelona, we went to Mexico, the east side of Mexico, to Xcaret. We stayed there in one of the nicest hotels I've ever seen. Included are a group of nature parks so we got lots of snorkeling, kayaking, swimming, etc. The zip lining over the jungle canopy was hundreds of feet long, flying through the sky in the daytime and in the middle of the darkness. 

From hot as hell in Mexico, we headed to Chile in the summer, which meant it was winter there. We stayed in Santiago and went skiing in the Andes. We froze our tails off. But we got to ski in the summer in the Andes Mountains. It was epic!

Shoulder to shoulder in planes, trains, boats, rickshaws, tuk-tuks, motorcycles, four-wheelers, and automobiles. The four of us got to have a trip of a lifetime.

So We had our epic trip and we made it even more epic. By busking. The kids busked in the streets, in different countries,( the ones that we were allowed to Busk in) and so we brought and hauled 15 bags of luggage around the world with us with all the amps, cords, mics, and all the instruments. The kids played and it was the first time Brayden and Tate played together. This trip allowed them to appreciate each other's gifts and they found that playing together is one of their favorite things to do. Zander was their hype man, he would get the crowd going and so they played in the streets around the world. They got to practice and they got to be in front of people, engage with people and learn how to make magic. They saw how much their music made people happy. Due to our trip, they've started making decisions to do more of that in their life. They got to truly see the world. We literally went all the way around it. Life is too long and too short not to make these types of things happen. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

There are so many other things on my dream list that I know I will do. And I will visualize sitting on that plane and coming back thinking about how I did it, how it is already completed, and how I already have that experience under my belt. I am currently sitting here in Guatemala, writing this book, both of which are on my vision board… So dream, follow the bliss. Do the job that you want, the one that brings you joy. Take those kids on vacation, and make it happen. It doesn't have to be a trip around the world for it to be amazing. Just do it. Do whatever lights you up. Get creative, find a way, and make it happen.

How you can learn from me…

1.  Know what you want and why you want it.

The importance of this step is to allow yourself to have big dreams.

I do this step by sharing the story of wanting to take my kids on a trip around the world.

To start…

 What is it that you want?

To do this next step breathe deep into your lungs. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds, and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.Now ask your higher self these questions,  " What do I REALLY want? Write down anything that comes to mind.  What have you always really wanted to do or experience but felt it was too big or impossible? For me, I wanted to travel big with the boys on a trip literally around the world! What do you really want? This should take 5-7 min to complete.

A. Why do you want it?

To do this next step breathe deep into the lungs again. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Now ask your higher self this question, "Why do I want it? Look at everything you wrote down and ask the question, "Why do I want it?” Write a long list under it. The longer the list the more important it is to you. If you can’t think of why you want it then it's possible that you don’t actually want it. I wanted to travel the world with the boys to be able to show them how great this planet is. To know that people are people, that we are all gloriously human with needs, wants, and desires even though we speak different languages and maybe look different. "Why do you want it?” This will take 5-7 min to complete!

B. How much will it cost to have it?

The next step is to ask yourself the question “ How much will it cost?” You might have to do some research. Get as detailed as you can so that there are little to no surprises later. If you can do the preliminary research now, do it. Don’t delay.  If you can’t then schedule a time to do it!  Action is the key to success.

You have to know what you want in order for it to ever come to fruition.

2. Get creative on how to make it happen.

The importance of this step is to realize that you might not know at first what to do, but you will figure it out.

I do this by sharing how I got creative on how to make it happen.

Here’s what you do…

A.  Write down - What do I need to do to make this happen? then do it.

To do this next step breathe deep into the lungs again.  Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Now ask your higher self this question, “What do I need to do to make this happen?” Write down anything that comes to mind. Create your list. Once created, rewrite them in the order that you need them to be in. Then do them step by step! For me,  the biggest hurdle in my mind was asking off work.  Once that got taken care of, I was off to the races. Take on the biggest hurdle first, the rest will seem easy. “What do you need to do to make Your Big Dream happen?” This will take 3-5 min to complete.

B. Write down - Who do I need to hire to make this happen? then do it.

Now I want you to ask yourself, “Who do I need to hire to make this happen?” Now you may not need to hire someone, but asking the question is super helpful because there might be a way to get some help without you even realizing yet. It was like that for me. It didn't occur to me to hire an assistant to help me plan the trip until it occurred to me that I don’t have to do everything on my own. Having her allowed me to need less time off work and eliminated massive amounts of stress. It gave her a job and she loved it. Win-win. “Who do you need to hire to make this happen or enroll to help you make this Big Dream happen? When you have someone in mind, call them, Now. This will take 3-5 min.

C. Write down - What do I need to research to make this happen? then do it.

The third step is to ask yourself this question, “What do I need to research to make this happen?” You don’t know what you don’t know.  So make sure you take a few minutes here to create a list of things to research so that you can be educated and more prepared. Then schedule the time to do the research. I hired my assistant to do most of the research, but the kids and I had meetings around the kitchen table and looked up activities in each country and together we choose our top three choices. Then Dani researched if it was actually doable based on times, distances, etc. She then put a PDF together of each country so that when we were on the plane inroute to the next country we would open the PDF, read all the info in current time and decide what we wanted to do. It worked brilliantly!  What do you need to research or have someone else research to make your big dream a reality? 

The How comes later.

Step 3. Do whatever it takes to make it happen/ Experience the dream

The importance of this step is to live your dream.

I do this step by sharing about our trip around the world.

Here’s what you want to do…

Be present as much as you can.

When you are in the middle of living out your dream, the first step is to be present as much as you can. Take it in. Don’t be thinking about the next thing.  Be in the present moment. Soak it all up! Enjoy it, let a smile cross your lips as I did in Thailand as I walked in awe through the jungle with my kids and elephants. So the first step when experiencing your dream is to stay present!

A. Take in the moments one by one and have fun.

The next step is to have fun! Seems obvious, but we as humans are notorious for forgetting to have a good time. So have fun, take in each moment as it comes, and enjoy it! I was able to do this for the most part!  We had a blast together. There were a few early morning airports with three grumpy teens and 15 bags that tried to steal my joy, but for the most part, I was able to enjoy almost every moment. I hope you do the same!!

B. Congratulate yourself for making it happen.

The third step is to congratulate yourself for making it happen!!  This was a big one, celebrate first that you gave yourself permission to even dream that big! That’s amazing! This is not being prideful, this is acknowledging a dream well planned and executed! Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate. Don’t celebrate alone either. Grab everyone you know and celebrate with them. It will inspire them to give themselves permission to dream big as well! We found out that to be true when we had our big celebration before our trip at a local restaurant.  Different people would come up to us and say this inspires me to travel with my kids. That made me so happy! Do your dream and see how you inspire others as well!

The outcome of this step is to learn how to live, to love your life! Live Baby Live.

When you follow and implement these steps you will learn that fear is a bitch until you learn to take it with you. You will learn the importance of allowing yourself to have big dreams. You might not know at first what to do, but you will figure it out. Live your dream.  Like in the story of wanting to take my kids on a trip around the world, how scared I was to ask off of work that long, how I got creative on how to make it happen, and how epic our trip ended up being because I took the risk. Here are the three steps so that you can live your dream too. 

• 1.  Know what you want and why you want it

• 2.  Get creative on how to make it happen

• 3. Do whatever it takes to make it happen/ Experience the dream  

You have to know what you want in order for it to ever come to fruition. The How comes later. Live baby live, the impossible is possible. When you read this you will learn how to use fear, how to make it your fuel, your friend, so that nothing will keep you from experiencing all that you want to experience!

Your Action Steps:  Are to implement the steps above, and come back and let us know what your results are!

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