True Love is like ghosts which everyone talks about and few have seen

Do you know what love is, what is possible? 

In this post I will share with you that true love does exist, and the importance of understanding the emotions and actions of love. That you have to come from a full cup.  Everything else is an overflow. I share the story of the love that I have with my partner now and how we navigate life together. I will also share with you the three steps on what love is. Period.  

1.  What is true love?

2. What does it look like, and act like? How does it feel?

3. BE LOVE - Keep believing.  

The outcome of this step is to know what love is! To come to a relationship with a full cup and to just Be love, be loving, do whatever is the most loving thing in every situation. Be love. You will learn what love is actually, what unconditional human love is capable of.

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. So what is real love? What is actually possible? I have progressively chosen better over the years. But, the relationship I am in now is the most amazing relationship I've ever had, and that I knew in my heart of hearts was possible. I feel so blessed, I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have this man by my side. He's not ahead of me, he's not behind me, we're partners. Actual partners. And it's a beautiful thing. So what is love? What is actual love? 

Love yourself for all you are, and all you are not. First things first: you have to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you don't have love to give. Love yourself for all you are and all you are not. A couple things that I didn’t like about myself were, that I hated my stretch marks on my stomach, and  from a personality standpoint I really disliked how much I needed touch, as it has gotten me into some not so good situations. I despised myself for it. But then I learned how to love myself, to look at those things as being gloriously human. Permission to be human is an amazing thing. Love yourself for all you are and all you are not. In a healthy relationship, you have to come from a full cup already. And everything else is an overflow. But if you come with a half cup expecting that other person to fill it... ding, ding, ding. Sirens should be going off. No, this is not love. This is taking. Love is loving them just the way they are, and just the way they're not. Let me say that again. Love is loving them just the way they are, and just the way they're not. In other words, you're not trying to change them.

In my current relationship he is super planned and organized to the minute, date, year. I am not like this. If I wanted to, I could get really annoyed by it. Wishing he knew how to flow more. But instead I love him for all he is and all he isn’t. I see his organization as a blessing and a help because it is in a lot of ways. I often chose people that I saw massive potential in. But I didn't accept them for where they were at and who they were right now. I wanted them to be different, and they wanted me to be different. That isn't love. 

Love is them loving you just the way you are. And just the way you're not. I had never heard that before until I met the incredible man that I'm with right now. When he first said it to me, I thought my heart would burst, would explode. Like, that's it. That is love. He looked me in the eyes and he said "I love you just the way you are and just the way you're not." In that moment I felt complete freedom. Complete freedom to just be me in all the things that I am, and all the things that I'm not. So when I want to flow instead of following a well created plan, he goes for it, because he loves me for just the way I am and just the way I’m not. 

Here are some things to look at when you're considering a partner. It’s important for you to be aligned emotionally, physically, economically, and spiritually with them. Emotionally, my partner and I have both had massive amounts of training and coaching. We are able to separate ourselves from the program. We can look at things and see our triggers and separate ourselves from them and say, "Oh, interesting. Something just happened there. What's going on?" And we're able to not take it personally and just look at it and go, "Oh, yeah, I am triggered. Hmm, I wonder why?.... Maybe it's this past situation that is creeping into my present." And we're able to annihilate those old beliefs and patterns.  

Physically, we just fit. It's so funny, we have people come up to us and say, you guys fit. You guys look so good together. And not that it matters what they think, but it matters how we feel about it. Physically, we just love to be together. It doesn't matter if our hands are on our head or heart or hip or leg, it's like,... click. We click all over the place. 

Economics are important too. I've been in different relationships where the economic difference was massive and it can really be hard. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it can really be hard. If one person is significantly in a different position economically, it can make things super tricky. 

Being aligned spiritually is important as well.  We have slightly different beliefs. But ultimately, we know there's a higher power and we love living our lives listening and seeking to understand just how big The Divine is.

Love means your heart feels like soaring. That's what love does. Love is two people going all in. Not halfway, all in, playing full out. And what does playing full out look like? It means you're looking to serve each other. You're looking at how you can make their day better. And when both people are doing that, not just one side. (I've been on that train. It's not so fun.) But when both people are seeking to serve each other and seeking to bring joy to each other then...Wow. That's like the rocket ship to heaven. 

Love is when each person takes 100% responsibility for their shit, and there IS shit. We need to stop being surprised that there's shit to deal with. But when each person takes responsibility for their shit, that's love. Not making the other person responsible. “My shit, my responsibility. Let me clean that up, and I am so sorry.”

Love is freedom. You are free to be you, because they love everything you are and everything you're not. And they are free to be them because you love everything that they are and everything they're not. This love that I'm experiencing now is glorious. I now know what real love is in a healthy romantic relationship. I am so thankful to know what love isn't, and to now know what love is.

Love is epic. I encourage us all to just Be Love. Be that next loving thing. Have so much love in your own heart that it's full and overflowing. You have all the love that you need inside you right here right now. Be Love. I went on Amazon and I designed a hat that says "Be Love" on it. I wear it a lot as a reminder for myself and hopefully a reminder to others to just Be Love.

Love really is the answer. If you're going to be something, Be Love.

How you can learn from me…

1.    What is true love

The importance of this step is that true love does exist.

I share the story of the love that I have with my partner now.

To start…

A.  Love yourself just the way you are

The first step in understanding Love is to love yourself just the way you are and just the way you are not. Seriously. If you want to get out of the program of hating yourself and not feeling good enough, then this is your first important step. Think of something right now that you dislike about yourself. Write it down. For me from a physical standpoint, I hated my stretch marks on my stomach. From a personality standpoint, I really disliked how badly I need touch. But now I see my stretch marks as the marks that represent two huge amazing sons. They were 8.8lbs and 8.10lbs. I’m little, no wonder I have stretch marks. I look at them differently now.  And my need for touch is a beautiful thing. It allows me to give and receive love in that way. Think about the thing that you chose about yourself, and see if you can’t find a blessing or benefit in it. Or maybe it’s just acceptance that you are a glorious human, perfectly imperfect like everyone else.  This doesn’t mean we don’t continue to learn and grow. We can always learn to be examples of more love and grace. Love yourself just the way you are, and just the way you are not! It’s glorious!

B. You love them just the way they are

The second step in understanding love is to love them, just the way they are and just the way they are not. Just like the example I gave of my partner being “overly” organized for my liking. I could get really annoyed and upset by it, but because I choose to see his organization as a gift and because I love him just the way he is and just the way he isn’t, it’s not a problem most of the time. I’m still human and forget sometimes, but overall I love him just the way he is and just the way he’s not. What is something that your significant other, roommate, or friend does that normally makes you crazy? Write it down. Now see if you can find the blessing or gift in that thing. Or maybe you can just see them as gloriously human just like you. How might this change your life if you actually adopt this way of thinking? It’s huge! It changes everything. You will look at everyone differently, because if you can see your partner differently and accept their humanness then you can also accept the human that cuts you off in traffic, or the friend that forgets how to be a good friend etc, etc. Do you see?  Love them just the way they are and just the way they are not. 

C. They love you just the way you are

You will know you are truly loved when they love you just the way you are and just the way you are not the majority of the time. They are gloriously human too. Like my partner, loves and accepts my love for variety, to not plan, even though this is not how he would do it because he loves me just the way I am and just the way I’m not.  Think of someone in your life that you know loves you in this way.  That they truly love you for the way you are, and the way you are not. It’s a beautiful thing. If you can’t think of someone in your life who loves you in this way, then love yourself in this way. It starts with you. It starts with you loving yourself for just the way you are and just the way you are not.

The outcome of this step is to know what love is!

2.   What does it look like, act like,  How does it feel?

The importance of this step is to understand the emotions and actions of love

I do this step by using examples from my life with my partner for each step.

Here’s what you want to do…

 A.  Alignment - emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually.

For a healthy partnership, there are four things that need to be in alignment.

• Emotionally

• Physically

• Economically

• Spiritually

If any of these things are out of alignment in a big way, then it can make it difficult to sustain the relationship without time and attention to bring things into alignment if possible. Ask your higher self, “ Where am I not in alignment with my partner?”  Write down your answer. Make time to talk with them about it to see if you can find a way to be more aligned.

B. Makes Your heart sing

Love makes your heart sing. Makes you smile when you think about them. One of the best ways to express love and receive love is when that person walks into a room, you light up like a Christmas tree and vice versa. When you are greeted at the door with the same kind of happy love that the family dog does when you arrive home. Are we doing this for each other? Are we lighting up when our partner enters the room, are they for us? Are you lighting up when your kids enter the room? If you have lost this, it doesn’t mean you can’t find it again, it just means your love needs some time and attention. Love is an action. It’s not passive. If you treat it passively it will die.  

C.  All in 100 %

The next step in creating a healthy love relationship is to understand that it’s not a 50/50 thing. It requires 100% and 100%. Each person, giving it all they have. Otherwise, it creates a situation where both people are trying to take what they need from the other. This is not love. Love is giving 100%. This doesn’t mean you don’t take care of yourself. You take care of yourself so that you can give 100%. It’s like on the plane, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then assist the child. Some of us give till we have nothing left to give. This is not what I’m saying, nor is it healthy. I have done this, I know.  What I am saying is that it takes two people to be all in, committed to and taking time and action to cultivate it for it to be glorious. Are you putting 100% into your relationship? If not, change that, acknowledge it with your partner, go all in, and watch the magic happen. You move first, you shift first.

D. Free to be

Love is free. Love allows you the freedom to be. When you truly love someone you don’t possess them. I can be all of me and they can be all of them. It's a rare thing to find, but when you find it, enjoy it. The trick then is to not try and possess it because it’s so wonderful. The secret is to let them be free to be, and when they are doing the same for you….magic.  Do you allow your partner the freedom to be themselves? Do they allow you to be yourself? Are you trying to get your kids to fit in the box you want, or are they free to be themselves?

E. Each person takes 100% responsibility for their part

The next step in a healthy amazing loving relationship is to own your shit. When you get selfish, unkind, or forget how to truly love, take responsibility. Say sorry, ask how it impacted them, (don’t assume you know), listen, don’t defend. Own your shit. When both people do this, it truly is epic. Are you owning your shit? Is there anything right now that you know in your heart you could be taking responsibility for?  Write it down. Take responsibility! Be the first to start this! Move first, shift first, love even more, first!

F.  Respect for each other

It’s important to have respect for one another. If you don’t it won’t last, or if it does last it won’t be happy. Respect your partner for all that they are. Appreciate what it took for them to be who they are.  See the good, see the amazing, focus on those things. What is right is always available and what is wrong is as well. As long as you focus on what you love, especially about them, you won’t be able to focus on the other stuff less exciting. Where you place your attention is where you place your energy. Are you respecting your partner? Write down your answer. Write down and list of things you respect about your partner, friend, or child.

G.  Serve each other

Love is service. Notice I didn’t say slave. Love is to be happy in your service to the person you love. Think about the love a mom has for their child. I know there are some of you who did not have this experience, but hopefully, you were able to create that for yourself as a mother or father yourself. A mother who loves their child is selfless in how they serve their children. This is love. This is not just reserved for a mother-child relationship. This can be in any loving relationship.  My partner and I almost every day ask each other, “How might I serve you today?” How might I help make your day even better? Are you serving the people you love, are they serving you? Something to look at and pay attention to. Remember, be the first to serve, to change, to shift. Serve first.

H.  Each Seek to bring joy to each other

Last but not least, seek to bring joy to each other. Like actually joy, smiles, and laughs. Get creative on how you can do that. My amazing man surprised me one day with a trip the next day to Miami for a few-day getaway. He knows I love to travel, he knows I love surprises. It doesn’t get much better than that! Are you thinking about ways to bring them joy? Ask yourself, “Am I?” If yes, yay, think of even more ways. If you aren’t then asking yourself, “What could I do to bring a massive smile to my partner's face?” Listen. Then do it.  Easy. Simple. Fun. Magic.

The outcome of this step is to have a new idea of what love actually is.

3.  BE LOVE -Keep believing

The importance of this step is that we have to come from a full cup, everything else is and overflow.

I do this step by sharing the story of my " Be love” hat - just be the next loving thing.  Period.

Here’s how you do it…

 A.   Love yourself just the way you are

To recap, love yourself just the way you are. Remember that you have all the love you need inside you now. Love without conditions. Just love to love. This kind of love is at the tip top of the vibration scale.  Love yourself just the way you are. Repeat after me, “ I love myself, just the way I am.” smile. Again, “ I love myself, just the way I am.” Smile again, “ I love myself, just the way I am.”  

B.  Be an example of love in your actions

Live this unconditional love out in your life and in your actions. Be the living breathing example of love. As a full cup of love, you will be overflowing all over everyone around you. I love my “Be Love” hat because it holds me to a standard of love, and hopefully, it reminds those who read it, to remember who they are, that they are also Love.  

C. Radiate it out into the universe with your energy

Understand that this vibration of love radiates into the universe. It impacts hundreds of thousands of people. Many of us know the saying, “Love can move mountains”, that’s because it can. Be Love, Radiate Love. Love is the answer.

The outcome of this step is to just Be love, be loving, and do whatever is the most loving thing in every situation. Be love.

When you follow and implement these steps you will know what love is, and what is possible. That real love does exist,  and the importance of understanding the emotions and actions of love. You will know that it is your responsibility to come from a full cup. That everything else is an overflow. Like for example the love that I have with my partner now and how we navigate life together. I will also share with you the three steps on what love is. Period.   

• 1.  What is true love, 

• 2.  What does it look like, act like,  How does it feel?

• 3.  BE LOVE -Keep believing.   

The outcome of this step is to know what love is! To come to a relationship with a full cup and to Be love, be loving, do whatever is the most loving thing in every situation. Be love.  You will learn what love is actually, and what unconditional human love is capable of.

Your Action Steps:  Are to implement the steps above, and come back and let us know what your results are!

If you feel that I can help you in your journey, please connect with me here

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