Understand that you didn't understand
Love is messy.
In this post, I will share with you the importance of owning your shit. The importance of forgiving yourself and whoever hurt you. I will share my story of how I've apologized in my past relationships, for my part, my bullshit, and how it affected them. And also how I have forgiven Joe for the abuse in our 8 years of marriage, and how I have created understanding instead. I will share with you my new mantra that "All the love I need is within me now." and the three steps to move on from old relationships and how to create the one you want.
They are:
1. Forgive Yourself,
2. Forgive them,
3. Attract True Love- Raise your frequency as high as you possibly can, consistently as you can, and you will attract someone of like frequency.
You will learn that often we have to learn the hard way, and the importance of looking back and evaluating lessons learned and taking responsibility for them, forgiving yourself and them, to get closure - freedom! To realize that when we work on ourselves and raise our frequency, magic happens.
So looking back on my life, and understanding that I didn't have the best experience and example of what love is in a marriage, in a male-female relationship, I can see now how that affected the relationships that followed. I understand now, that I didn't understand. It was, it got messy at times. And some of the people I dated, I stayed with longer than I probably should have, just because I didn't want to quit, and I wanted to be loved. I wanted to have that connection, however, I could get it.
I didn’t understand what a true loving relationship looked like. I tended to choose people who didn't treat me the best and I didn't ask for anything different. I understand now that they didn't understand either because we've been fed a bunch of lies about love. I have apologized to a few of my ex-boyfriends for my part in it, and for being in my masculine, for not being in the flow, for being the man in the relationship, and not allowing them to be the man. That doesn't mean control and domination. Like what I thought the masculine energy was, but with real divine masculinity. The problem is there are so many misconceptions, so many lies about what love is that most don’t even know what it truly is.
I forgive myself and them for these times and for these relationships because I realized that we both didn’t understand. That’s two people who didn't understand love, trying to make it work. If you are an ex-boyfriend of mine reading this, I just want to say thank you, and I'm sorry. Thank you for the amazing times, and I'm sorry for my part in the times that weren't. I was controlling and unintentionally emasculating. I'm thankful for all that I've learned from our time together. I forgive Joe, and I forgive myself for staying so long with Joe. I understand that we didn’t understand love.
How you can learn from me…
1. Forgive Yourself
The importance of this step is to own your shit.
I do this step by sharing how I've apologized to my boyfriends for my part and how it affected them.
To start…
A. Where in the matters of love have your brought someone pain
To do this next step breathe deep into the lungs again. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Now ask your higher self this question, “Where in the matters of love have I brought someone pain?” Write down what comes to mind without judgement. I unintentionally brought my partners pain by staying longer than was healthy or kind to both of us. “Where in the matters of love have you brought someone pain?” This will take 3-5 min to complete.
B. What specifically did you do and how did it impact them
Now ask your higher self, “What specifically did I do and how did it impact them?” Write down what comes to mind. I tended to be the one leading the show, controlling them and outcomes. There wasn’t a lot of room to flow. This causes a depolarizing and emasculating of the man. This causes them to feel less than others. Causes them to feel small and insignificant. This was not my intent, but this is what I did. What specifically did you do and how did it impact them? This will take 3-5 min to complete.
C. Apologize
The third step here is to own your shit. Apologize to those you have hurt, either knowingly or unknowingly. You can have an understanding that you did not clearly understand love, or else you wouldn’t have acted that way. It is amazingly healing to apologize to whomever you have hurt and to go one step further, and ask them how your actions impacted them. There may be more pain to uncover there. If there is, own it, apologize. Even if they don’t own their stuff, own yours. It is a cleansing thing and allows you to think differently and do differently the next time. Please don’t chicken out, or apologize by text. In-person is best or by video phone or phone. Own your shit. You will be amazed at how healing it can be for you and for them.
The outcome of this step is to take responsibility for how your actions affected your past relationships.
2. Forgive them (for whatever happened in that you have Understanding that they did not understand what love was in that moment or moments)
The importance of this step is to forgive whoever hurt you.
I do this step by sharing how I have forgiven Joe for all the things that he did and was, and have created understanding instead.
Here’s how you do it…
A. Who in your life do you feel has wronged you in some way and it still upsets you
To do this next step breathe deep into the lungs again. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds, and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Now ask your higher self this question, “Who in my life do I feel has wronged me in some way, and it still upsets me?” Listen and write down anything that comes to mind. I was very upset for years and years and years over how Joe treated the boys and I. It was abusive, even dangerous. I felt at times that he wanted to, and might kill me or us. I ran to keep us alive, moved countries, etc. I was upset for years. Who in your life do you feel has wronged you in some way and it still upsets you? This will take 3-5 min to complete.
B. Change your perspective. Come to understand
Breathe deep into the lungs again. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Now ask your higher self this question, “What was my part in it, and what else could have caused them to act in the way they did?” In other words, change your perspective. I realize that what I’m asking you to do, is one of the most difficult things to do. The current program we are used to living in is to be victims. We get a lot of our human needs met by being victims. I’m asking you to go outside of the program and think differently. I want you to look outside of the victim box and see if maybe there is something out there to see. For example, in my case, I came to realize that I stayed in the abuse for years. I could have ran earlier, but I didn't. That’s on me. I also realized that hurt people hurt people. He obviously was not taught what love is or how to love. I now know based on his psychological diagnosis that he is incapable of love, even for his own flesh and blood. I don’t know if he was born that way or he became that way because of repeated trauma, but however it came to be, he is that way. He is incapable of love. How can I stay mad, upset at that, at him. He literally can’t. Your person may or may not have the same diagnosis, but it’s still the same. They don’t know how. If they truly did, they would have. But they don’t, or didn’t in that moment, in that situation at that time, they didn’t know or they forgot. Period. When you can truly see this, it makes the problem literally disappear from a conscious standpoint. You might still need to get help removing the trauma from the situation out of your body, but from a conscious standpoint, you can understand that they didn’t understand how to treat you with love. “What was your part in it? What could a new perspective be? This will take 3-5 min to complete.
C. Release them
The third step is to release them, let them go if need be, or let the situation go. Just let it go. Forgive, understand, whatever word works, but let the situation, let the pain go. You also forget, or don’t understand at times and do shitty things. We all do. Period. Let them be human, let yourself be human. Release. Poof! Freedom!
The outcome of this step is to get closure - free!
3. Attract True Love Raise your frequency as high as you possibly can consistently as you can and you will attract someone of like frequency.
The importance of this step is to realize that what you put out is what you get.
I do this step by sharing the story of my mantra "All the love I need is within me now."
Here’s what you want to do…
A. Raise your frequency as high as you possibly can
The first step in owning your shit and turning things around is to raise your frequency as high as you possibly can by working the Diamond. The Diamond is a 4 step process of getting your shit together and changing your state. The first step is to change the position of your body by smiling, breathing and moving it. The second point is to change what you are focused on and ask yourself “What am I thankful for?” The third step is to replace the bullshit you are telling yourself like in this instance, poor me, I’m a Victim, so and so did X to me” and change it to “I’m fine, everyone does shitty things including me sometimes, we are all learning and growing.” And the fourth point of the diamond is to connect to Source and know you are not alone and ask for Divine Help. Change your frequency, change your life. Work that diamond over and over until you feel love and gratitude. Do it now, please.
B. As consistently as you can
The second step is to work the Diamond consistently. This is not a one-and-done thing. I am continuously working the diamond. I have a tattoo and a ring purposefully to remind me to work the Diamond. The more you work it the more you are in a high frequency. Anger, fear, and contempt can’t exist in the same energy as love and gratitude. So keep your vibe high. Consistently.
C. Remind yourself " You have all the love you need inside you now"
The third step is to repeat a mantra,( a sentence that you repeat over and over) that serves you and tells you the truth. Feel free to copy mine. When it comes to matters of the heart, this is the best mantra for me and it goes like this. “ I have all the love I need inside me now”. “ I have all the love I need inside me now”, “ I have all the love I need inside me now!” At first this maybe won’t seem true or real. But it is. Here’s how. We are all God’s kids, Kids of the Universe, Kids from Source. That means we have God in us. Not the same quantity but the same quality. God is Love. Period. Love is in us. The perfect kind of love. So “I have all the love I need inside me now”. We are programmed to look outside of ourselves for love when really all the love you need is within you now. Period.
When we work on ourselves and raise our frequency magic can happen.
When you follow and implement these steps you will realize that love is messy and the importance of owning your shit. The importance of forgiving yourself and whoever hurt you. Like in my story of how I've apologized to boyfriends for my part, my bullshit, and how it affected them, and also how I have forgiven Joe for the abuse in our 8 years of marriage. I have created understanding instead. You will also have a new mantra that inspires you like mine "All the love I need is within me now." and the three steps to move on from old relationships and how to create the one you want. They are:
1. Forgive Yourself,
2. Forgive them,
3. Attract True Love- Change your frequency, change your life.
The outcome is to learn how to raise your frequency as high as you possibly can, consistently as you can, and you will attract someone of like frequency. You will learn that often we have to learn the hard way, and the importance of looking back and evaluating lessons learned, taking responsibility for them, forgiving yourself and them, to get closure - freedom! To realize that when we work on ourselves and raise our frequency, magic happens.
Your Action Steps: Are to implement the steps above, and come back and let us know what your results are!
If you feel that I can help you in your journey, please connect with me here
READ the whole story http://www.getyourshittogether.life