Having Needs is not evidence of weakness-it Is Human.(7 human needs)

We are more the same than you think. What if we actually understood ourselves and others? In this blog post, I will share with you the importance of learning there are 7 human needs that all humans have. To know what your top 2-3 needs are operationally, and just because you have been operating under certain needs, doesn't mean you have to keep it that way. You can consciously change them. I will share my story by giving examples of each human need and how it relates to me. My top needs, of needing love and significance, needing to be the best, achieve, achieve, achieve, etc and how I consciously changed them to love, growth, and contribution.

Here are the three steps you need to know to do the same. 

1.  Learn the 7 Human Needs

2. Realize what 2-3 needs you need the most and how meeting those needs affected your life choices

3. What are the 2-3 needs that you want to have now to take your life to the next level. 

The outcome of this step is to see that we as humans are really very similar in our needs and that we all have needs that are more important than others, and that dictate how we make choices. You will learn how to take control of your life. You tell yourself how to be and what to do. You will then be able to choose the ones you want to consciously operate under moving forward! 

What if we actually understood ourselves and others? What if we're really not that different as humans? What if we're really a lot the same across cultures and languages? I believe we are. I have been to 56 countries, and one of the main reasons I wanted to travel with my kids was to show them the world and to experience that humans are humans.

We all have needs and wants and desires. And we will do anything to meet our needs. And there are seven in total. I learned part of this from Tony Robbins and have added and adapted it for myself. There are 7 human needs, we all have them, and we will do ANYTHING to meet them, either beneficially or non-beneficially.  

The first human need that I'm going to talk about is certainty, the need for certainty. The need to know what's going on, the need to have a plan. When people need certainty they need to know what's going on. When I get stressed, I need certainty more than normal. I need to control because I feel like I'm losing control. That's how certainty plays out in a non beneficial way for me. In a beneficial way for me, I'm pretty, organized. I have my shit together, for the most part. I have my paperwork, closet organized, life, and schedule organized, so I'm fairly organized. 'm meeting that need for certainty by being organized. 

The next need is the need for variety, the need to mix things up. Variety is very high on my list of needs. It's one of my favorites. I love changing things up, I go to different restaurants, I park in different parking spots. I love going to different countries. When I go on vacation, I'm known to hit eight countries in one vacation. Some people like to go to one spot and settle down and have certainty. I like moving, seeing and experiencing and changing it up and not having a plan. I love variety. In a non beneficial way, it has affected me probably by moving through relationships too quickly. Because I need variety. I get bored. That is a hard one to admit. And yet it's true. If I was aware, back then, like I am now I would have done things completely different. But I was unaware I was on the program, The elephant(my subconscious mind) was working at 95% subconscious. I wasn't aware. I was just trying to meet my needs. 

The next need is significance, the need for significance, the need to be noticed, the need to feel important. And again, there's nothing wrong with this. There's a good way and a non-beneficial way for this. But how that relates to me... I was in complete denial about it really. I thought "oh, I don't need significance." I was thinking that meant flashy cars and houses and things like that. I don't care about that. But really what significance can also mean is just needing to be valued, needing outside appreciation. This is why I had to achieve, achieve, achieve. I had to be the best. This has been a major theme in my life. Achieve, achieve, achieve next milestone, next trophy, next accomplishment. Next pat on the back.

Human need number 4 is the need for love and connection. This is my highest need. The need for love and connection. I love, love. I didn't love myself for years. So I looked outside myself to find it. And so obviously, that affected my relationships, because I was choosing for my needs to be met. I wasn't choosing consciously. I was choosing unconsciously. Again, there's a way for that to be beneficial and a way for it not to be beneficial, and the need for love and connection is expressing love and being loved. It's a beautiful thing. We all need it. 

The fifth need is the need to express yourself. The need to hear and express the truth. There are so many lies. There's so much deception, and we crave being able to be truthful and to receive the truth. I really felt this in leaving the Mission organization I was part of for the first 30 years of my life. Being able to express myself. Like what do I actually believe, and not worry about what everybody thinks. I experienced this in the process of giving myself permission to write this book... It was hard. What's everyone gonna think? I am seriously gonna upset some people from my past. I have no desire to do that. I just want to be free. I wonder, maybe some of those people are feeling the same way I did, and they would like to be free. So I'm writing this book for the one person that this book will help.  We need to speak the truth to ourselves because so often we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves, we're not good enough. We tell ourselves we're lazy. We're telling ourselves we're fat, we tell ourselves we're too slow, too young, too old. All kinds of bullshit. We have a need for the truth. 

The sixth human need is the need for awareness. To be aware, to wake up, to listen to your intuition, to grow aware, become aware of new information.. We need to grow. We need to expand our awareness, we need to wake up. You have a need for these things. And I've really been able to work on my intuition in the last eight years through my coach Josh. And to trust it. I didn't trust myself for years, because I chose Joe. How can I trust myself when I chose Joe and ended up in an abusive marriage for 7.5 years. Holy shit, how can I be trusted to choose anything again? And so I had to really work on trusting my intuition, the Holy Spirit in me, Source in me.

The seventh need is your connection to all. The need to know and understand we are all connected. When we remember we are connected, that's what compels us to contribute even more to others. We are not completely separate individuals. We are not separate. Energy connects us. We are connected, and when we forget, this is when we create separation. and this is when we feel terrible. We don't feel good when we feel disconnected. Think about this...You can't feel disconnected if you weren't once connected. 

One of the most amazing stories that really sticks out in my mind is, I had a beautiful relationship with a man and he was working down at the beach, and I was at home.  Something was going on in me. And I was really having a hard time and he texts me and he says, "Are you okay?" I was not okay. But I knew he was working. And I knew that if I said I wasn't okay, that it would affect his work. And I didn't want to do that. And so I was not authentic. And I said, "No, I'm fine." because I didn't want to affect his work, I used a really cool trick that I know. If someone's sending you bad vibes, or someone's trying to hang on to you, because we're attached energetically, you can break energetic cords by saying "They are to them, I am to me, back with love." They are to them,( you can use their name,) I am to me, back with love. And so I did that three times. A few hours later he came home and he says "Are you ok?" "There was this moment where I didn't feel you anymore. You were gone, I thought we were done." I was shocked! I told him how I did the cord-cutting thing and he said, "Don't ever do that again, please." There's just so many instances I could go on and on with how we are all connected. I know many of you have had the experience of thinking about your mom, and then next thing you know your mom calls or you go to text someone and then all of a sudden they're texting you in that moment. It's because we're connected. We have a need to connect, we have a need to remember that we are connected,  instead of believing the program that we are all disconnected and separate.

So when I look at all seven needs, normally we have two or three that we operate in, and need the most. I realized that I needed love and significance and variety the most,  those were the top three before I understood that there were seven needs. And if you look at my choices in life, you can even at this point in this book reading my story, you can see that these are my three. But then here's the beautiful thing. Now that you know the seven needs, you can consciously choose which ones you want to have, as your top two or three needs. 

We have a choice, we don't have to be run by the program. So my new top three needs are love, because I just really love love, awareness, and connection to all. My life choices now as a result, are more about learning and growing and becoming more aware and listening to my intuition, so that I can contribute to the people around me.. These are my top three needs now. And wow does it ever change. I changed careers, I no longer make myself crazy with needing to achieve. I am now saying no to things. I don't have to say yes because I want them to like me and think I'm amazing and all these significant things. Now I can just say no if that's not going to fit into the plan or doesn't feel right for me right now. I'm following my intuition. I live my life completely differently because I'm consciously choosing which needs to meet and to meet them in a beneficial way. I'm soooooo thankful!  I love my life.

How you can learn from me…

1. Learn the 7 Human Needs

The importance of this step is to learn that there are 7 human needs that all humans have.

I do this step by giving examples of each human need and how it relates to me.

To start…

 A.  Certainty

The first human need is the need for certainty. The need to have a plan. The need to know what’s going to happen next. The need to be organized etc. The need for certainty can also cause  controlling behaviors. To do this first step, breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need certainty?” Write down anything that comes to mind without judgement. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me I need certainty in the form of being organized in my house and in my life as far as my schedule. When I get stressed I need certainty even more and feel like I need to control people and situations so that things don’t get even more out of control. “Where in your life do you need certainty?”  This will take 3-5 min to complete.

B. Variety

The second human need is the need for variety, or the need for uncertainty.  The need to mix things up. A variety person likes to jump out of planes, take adventures, go with the flow. The need for variety can also cause people to be non committal in jobs and relationships, easily bored, and discontent. To do this next step, breathe deep into the lungs.   Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need Variety?”  Write down anything that comes to mind without judgement. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me the need for variety shows up quite a bit in my life. I love doing different things, trying new things, going to new places. I almost never go to the same place twice, I love variety.  It has also shown up in the form of being easily bored.  It has also affected me by moving through relationships too quickly. “ Where in your life do you need variety?” This will take 3-5 min to complete. 

C. Significance

The third human need is the need for significance, the need for recognition, the need to be noticed and praised.  It can show up in the form of fancy houses, cars, clothes etc or it can be in the form of name dropping or accomplishment bragging just to name a few. To do this next step  breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need Significance?”  Write down anything that comes to mind without judgement. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me this one was a sneaky one for me, in that I was at first in denial about it. I didn’t think I needed much significance because material things aren’t important to me, but then I realized I needed a ton of recognition, telling me I was doing a great job, that I’m a great person etc.  Where in your life do you need significance? This will take 3-5 min to complete.

D.  Love

The fourth human need is the need for love and/or connection. Some people don’t know what love is and so they settle for connection. This human need shows up in the form of needed human relationships, touch, words, etc. It is the need to love and be loved. To be part of a community  It can also show up in the form of prostitution or being part of a gang, it’s the sense of belonging, of getting love or connection in some way. To do this next step, breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need Love/Connection?”  Write down anything that comes to mind without judgement. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me the need for love is really important. I love to love and be loved. I love to be part of communities of great people. I also have stayed in relationships that weren’t healthy too long because I needed to love or be loved.  Where in your life do you need Love/Connection? This will take about 3-5 min to complete.

E. Truth/self expression

The fifth human need is the need for the truth and self expression. This shows up in the form of the need to hear and express the truth. There are so many lies. There's so much deception, and we crave being able to be truthful and to receive the truth. Sometimes we don’t express ourselves in the best way and we yell or force our beliefs on others. To do this next step breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need truth and to express myself?”  Write down anything that comes to mind without judgement. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me, this really shows up in needing first to tell myself the truth about things. There are so many lies that we are told or that we tell ourselves. The main lie world wide is that “I'm not good enough”. I struggled with this as well which is why I spent so many years trying to prove myself. Where in your life do you need truth and to express yourself? This will take 3-5 min to complete.

F. Awareness

The sixth human need is the need for awareness. The need to learn and grow. The need to be aware so you can follow your intuition. This shows up in the form of listening to your intuition, your inner voice, your higher self, the holy spirit.  It can also show up as the opposite in that we forget that we need to do that, and we get a bit lost in the process. To do this next step, breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need awareness?” Write down anything that comes to mind without judgement. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me the need for awareness has really shown up in my need to grow. To figure life out, and to be able to learn how to listen to my intuition. I didn’t trust it in the past because I chose to marry Joe and as a result had 7.5 years of abuse. How did I not see that coming? It took years to trust my intuition again. My intuition never failed me, I just didn’t know how to listen to it to be able to hear it. Where in your life do you need awareness? This will take 3-5 min to complete.

G. Connection to All

The seventh human need is the need to remember that we are all connected. That we have a connection to all things. That we are in fact not separate from each other but connected. This shows up in the form of feeling connection to others and to Source. When you take care of each other, when you contribute to someone, when you help animals etc. It can also show up with the opposite in mind. We forget that we are connected, and we get selfish and wrapped up in our own needs and wants that we don’t even notice the other people or animals around us that could use some support.  To do this next step  breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “Where in my life do I need awareness?”  Write down anything that comes to mind without judgment. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 3-5 examples. For me it’s been amazing to really experience how we are indeed all connected. In the example of my ex-boyfriend feeling me disconnect to him while we were miles apart from each other. To think about my mom and a few seconds later I get a call from her etc. Where in your life do you need to be connected to all?'' This will take 3-5 min to complete.

The outcome of this step is to see that we as humans are really very similar in our needs.

2. Realize what 2-3 needs you need the most and how have meeting those needs affected your life choices

The importance of this step is to know what your top 2-3 needs are operationally.

I do this step by telling the story of my top needs of needing love and significance, needing to be the best, achieve, achieve, achieve etc.

Here’s how you do it…

A. Ask yourself " What are your top 2-3 human needs?"

As you look at your lists, there are usually 2-3 human needs that operationally you need the most. To do this next step, breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “ What are my primary 2-3 human needs?” Write down anything that comes to mind without judgment. Keep repeating the question until you have at least 2-3 examples. When I first did this exercise mine were Love, Significance, and Variety. What are your top 2-3 human needs right now?  This will take 2-5 min to complete.

B. What is the order of importance?

Now as you look at your top 2-3 human needs I want you to ask yourself, “what is the order of importance?” First I want you to breathe deep into the lungs.   Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question, “What is the order of importance?” Write down which one you think is the most important to you, which one comes in second and which one is third. Keep breathing and asking your higher self what is the truth.  Sometimes our subconscious mind doesn’t want to admit the truth, which is what happened to me. I didn’t want to admit that significance was on the list at all let alone admit it was in second place.  What is the order of importance for you, operationally.?  Operationally means, How are you living your life and what is showing up the most. This will take 3-5 min to complete.

C.  How have those needs in that order affected my life?

Ok so here is where we are going to get even more real! But first breathe deep into the lungs. Make sure it’s  through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question,  “How have those needs in that order affected my life?” write down anything that comes to mind without judgment. Seek the truth and you will find it. For me, the truth was that Love being first was great in many ways as I have had a wonderful life loving on others and being loved in return, but it also caused me to seek love outside of myself and sometimes with in an unhealthy way, instead of understanding I have all the love I need inside of my self. The need for significance highly affected my life because I was often in work and achievement mode in order to be recognized and get my need for significance met. It also served me in many ways as I have accomplished much in my life. The need for variety helped me have the adventurous life that I’ve had. It helped me in my escape to Mexico, and in moving to multiple different countries and cultures over the years. It also has caused me to go through relationships perhaps prematurely as I get easily bored and want new excitement. How have your top 3  human needs in that order of importance, affected your life? This will take 7-10 min to complete.

The outcome of this step is that we all have needs that are more important than others and those needs dictate how we make choices.

Step 3. What are the 2-3 needs that you want to have now to take your life to the next level

The importance of this step is just because you have been operating under certain needs, doesn't mean you have to keep it that way. You can consciously change them.

I do this step by sharing the story of changing my needs to love, growth and contribution.

Here’s what you want to do…

A. Ask yourself  "what 2-3 needs need to be to take my life to the next level.

For this next step I first want you to breathe deep into the lungs.   Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.  Repeat three times then ask your higher self this question,  "what do my top 2-3 needs need to be to take my life to the next level.”?  Make sure you keep breathing through this process. Go up to the list of 7 needs and read over the definitions again and ask yourself, "what do my top 2-3 needs need to be to take my life to the next level.”? Write down whatever comes to mind. I decided that my top 2-3 needs needed to be Love, Awareness and Connection To All to take my life to the next level. And by making that change it absolutely has. It’s one of the reasons I’m now writing this book. It wasn’t as important to me before because my focus was on love from the outside, significance, adventure and variety. Now it’s on Love from inside, Learning to be more aware, learning and growing so that I can contribute to All.  "what do your top 2-3 needs need to be to take your life to the next level.”? This will take 3-5 min to complete.

B. What is the order of importance that they should be in?

Now ask your higher self, “what is the correct order that they should be in?”  Breathe deep into your lungs a few times again, and ask the question over and over until you have your answer. The correct order for me is Love, Awareness, and Connection. I have love first because it’s just simply my favorite, I have awareness next because I want to learn and grow so that I have something to share and contribute to the collective, which is number 3. “ What is the correct order for your new top 2-3 needs? This will take 3-5 min. 

C. What would change in my life if I made these my top three needs?"

For the third step I want you to ask your higher self, “What would change in my life if I made these my top three needs in this order?"  Write down anything that comes to mind. For me, making that change has absolutely changed my life. It’s one of the reasons I’m now writing this book. It wasn’t as important to me before because my focus was on love from outside, significance, and adventure and variety. Now it’s on Love from inside, Learning to be more aware, learning and growing so that I can contribute to All. What would change in your life if you made these your top three needs?" This will take 3-5 min to complete.

The outcome of this step is to learn how to take control of your life. You tell yourself how to be and what to do.

When you follow and implement these step you will realize that we are more the same than you think. That it’s possible to understood ourselves and others? You will learn the 7 human needs and know what your top 2-3 needs are operationally. You will also understand that you can consciously change them like in my story of needing love and significance, needing to be the best, achieve, achieve, achieve etc and how I consciously changed them to love, growth and contribution. Here are the three steps you need to know to do the same.  

• 1.  Learn the 7 Human Needs

• 2. Realize what 2-3 needs you need the most and how meeting those needs affected your life choices

• 3. What are the 2-3 needs that you want to have now to take your life to the next level

The outcome of this step is to see that we as humans are really very similar in our needs and that we all have needs that are more important than others, that dictate how we make choices. You will learn how to take control of your life, consciously meeting your needs in a beneficial manner. You tell yourself how to be and what to do. You will then be able to choose the ones you want to consciously operate under moving forward! 

Your Action Steps: Are to implement the steps above, and come back and let us know what your results are!

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