Don’t Be a Diamond in the Rough!
It’s time to take back control and shine!
Changing your physiology is amazing because it changes how you feel so fast. I do it constantly, now. One of the times I practiced this was when the kids and I flew the red-eye to the Philippines. When we arrived, we had missed our flight from Manila to the island of Cebu. So there we were, three teenagers and me. We were trashed. We hadn’t slept, it was a long, long flight, and then we found out we’d totally missed our flight to get to Cebu. So what did I do? I smiled, and I took a few deep breaths. I moved my body, and I shook off the day and I shook off the night, and I said, “Okay, let’s do this, Source. Let’s figure this out.”
With a big smile on my face, I walked into the ticket office. Literally 15 minutes later, I had four new flights to the island of Cebu and we didn’t even have to stay overnight. We were able to leave a couple hours later, so it all worked out. I wonder how different that interaction could have been if I hadn’t done those four things — if I hadn’t smiled, breathed, moved, changed my focus and my story, and connected to the Source. I might have walked into that office in a completely different state, a grumpy state, an angry state. And who knows if they would have found me a flight, or if it would have gone so smoothly?
High vibration begets high vibration. Low vibration begets low vibration. This is the way that it works. I’m so thankful for these tips and tricks to learn how to train our elephant (our subconscious mind that makes up 95% of our mind) and how to get in control of ourselves.
I practice what I call The Diamond. The Diamond is a four-step process of getting your shit together and changing your mental state. The first step is to change the position of your body by smiling, breathing, and moving it. The second point is to change what you are focused on and ask yourself, “What am I thankful for?” The third step is to replace the bullshit you are telling yourself. And the fourth point of The Diamond is to connect to Source, know you are not alone, and ask for divine help (Source).
I also thought about the second part of The Diamond, what you’re focused on, what you are thankful for. And one of the best examples I have of this is my father, when he found out that he needed to have open heart surgery, a quadruple bypass.
I flew up to Canada to be with my mom and dad during that time. And, man, I had to work The Diamond a lot. And he did, too, in his own way. He was on the operating table, and they were just about to put him out when he stopped them and said, “Wait a second, wait, hold on a second.” The operating room staff were taken aback. I don’t think many people do that. My Dad said, “I just want you to know, and I just want to thank you in advance, for what you were going to do for me today.”
And they smiled. And he said, “I’m so thankful for the sex change that you’re going to give me. This is a big day!” And they all went, “What?” and with a ginormous smile my dad said, “Just kidding! I know I’m here for my heart.” And they all burst out laughing. It broke their serious state of mind, and it helped foster camaraderie among the doctors and nurses. My Dad was no longer just a body on an operating table — he was a person.
Then my Dad said, “Seriously, I really want to thank you in advance for what you’re doing for me, because you’re not just doing this for me. You are doing this for my wife, my three kids, and my five grandkids. My family and I just want to thank you in advance for how you’re going to help me, and I’m so thankful for all the years of service, for all the years of school, to get you to the point of being able to help me in this way, today.”
He told me this story after he came out of surgery. What he said just blew them away. Dad had gratitude going into open heart surgery. And I have no doubt that he made those doctors love him. He came out with flying colors, and he recovered so fast, the doctors were shocked at how well he was doing. Gratitude is a beautiful thing.
We have to watch what we say to ourselves, and what we say to others. Self-dialogue can be damaging, especially when we say such things to ourselves as, “I’m not good enough. I can’t be loved. Life is hard.” They’re just not true. The major limiting belief that I had growing up was, “Life is hard.” I had heard this from my family probably thousands of times.
They also believed life was amazing. But I heard over and over again that life was hard. So guess what happens when you start believing something like that, that life is hard? You start looking for reasons to make that true. And so I’m like, ‘Yup, see, there it is. Life is hard.’ ‘Yep. See, there it is again. Life is hard.’ ‘I find myself in a shitty marriage. Life is hard. It’s just the way it is. Right.’ And I settled, and I stayed for eight years, at least in part because, ‘Life is hard.’ When I realized that that was my belief system, I had to annihilate it. I said to myself, ‘No way am I going to let this rule my life, my choices, and my decisions from this day forward.’
So I replaced it with what’s true. And when you do that, you get it into your cells. You have to tell your elephant what to do.
You’ve got to tell him with conviction. He’s got to believe you. And you’ve got to say what the truth is with conviction: THE TRUTH IS that life is amazing! Life is magical! Life is full of purpose. Life is full of connections. Life is full of opportunities. Life is full of adventure. Life is full of love — that’s what life is! And you say it with conviction and with some volume and guess what? Your elephant’s going to go, “Huh? She seems serious. Maybe this is true.” And then the next time you hear the words in your mind, ‘Life is hard,’ you’re like, ‘No, that’s bullshit. What’s true is . . .’ and you say it again to yourself: ‘Life is amazing! Life is magical! Life is full of purpose. Life is full of opportunities. Life is full of adventure. Life is epic. That’s what’s true.’
Then pretty soon your elephant is going to start believing you, and you’re going to start looking for the magic and looking for the opportunities and looking for the connections and looking for the love. And it changes your life. And we can’t forget about Step 4, which could also be the first step, but for us in our humanness, sometimes we have to go around the Diamond and get to the fourth step last.
But if you’re able to do the fourth step first, please do that, and that is to connect to Source, to connect to God, to understand there is a higher power in and around and everywhere that is seeking to help us, that is seeking to encourage us, that is seeking to listen. I did that while sitting in the waiting room while my dad was in surgery. I just really connected to God and just prayed and gave my dad to the divine, to the Source. I was able to go through that waiting room with very little stress and worry because of these tips and tools that I have in the shape of this glorious Diamond of Freedom:
The Diamond of Freedom teaches us how to handle life. How to handle it in such a way that you get immense joy out of it instead of being miserable and suffering. This does not have to be the way. We have a choice. We always have a choice! The Source is always right there, whether we remember or not, whether we acknowledge or not, the divine is there and we can tap in and we can receive so much strength and so much love and so much wisdom when we take a minute to connect.
Step 1. Physiology — smile, breathe, move.
Smile. On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel right now? Take inventory of yourself and write down a number.
When you realize you are in a crappy mood or you want to prepare yourself to be in an even better mood, you work this first point of The Diamond. Physiology is the first thing you do to change your state of being and therefore how you feel. In other words, change what you are doing in your body. Change your physiology. Emotions have a look. Think about someone who is depressed, their shoulders will be slumped, head down, frown on their face, no? Excitement has a look. Emotions have a look. Change your body, change your emotions.
The first thing I do is smile. It instantly gets you to be present. Try it. When you smile you aren’t in your messed-up past or your messed-up future, which is what the brain normally wants to think about. I love to walk around and smile at people as I go. It’s amazing how their face completely changes as they smile back. Like when I had to go into the ticket office in the Philippines. There is no doubt in my mind that my big welcoming smile impacted the service I received. So the first step to changing how you feel is smile!
Next, breathe. We normally breathe shallowly. Pretend you are filling your lungs from the bottom up. If you do it correctly, your stomach will expand, and your shoulders won’t move up. Breathe deep into the lungs again. Make sure it’s through your nose, hold for five seconds, and then exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhh.” The “ahh” sound helps release stress. I do it a lot in my car when I’m driving, as there is usually no one else in the car and I can be as weird as I want.
Now, move your ass. Walk, dance, bike, jump around, exercise, or run, just to name a few — but you have to move. When you feel shitty, the worst thing you can do is stay in the slumped position you are in. So train your body/elephant to move when you are in a crappy state. I want you to get up and do 20 jumping jacks, while smiling and breathing. Now how do you feel?
I used to jump around in a bathroom stall during breaks to get my shit together. Because who is responsible for your state of mind and being? You are! I want you to right now say it with me: “I am responsible for how I feel!” Now on a scale of 1-10, how do you feel? Write down the number. If you did all that I asked you to do, then I am 100% certain the number is higher now than it was a few minutes ago when we started this activity.
The outcome is to know the three steps on how to change your body to go from crappy to happy.
Step 2. Thankful — Focus on what you are thankful for.
The importance of this step is that, by asking just one question, we can turn everything around and feel differently.
I do this step by sharing the story of Dad in the hospital having his open heart surgery, how we both got through it with gratitude!
Where your focus goes, energy flows. This is a Tony Robbins quote: “What you focus on matters.” So if you feel shitty, you have shitty thoughts. Period. So it’s important for you to control what you are focused on.
Ask yourself, “What am I thankful for?” Here’s the thing: It won’t matter what your elephant was thinking about before, as soon as you ask that question he will be looking for an answer. You can’t be scared or angry in the presence of gratitude. So get thankful. Train yourself to ask this question over and over and over all day long.
Repeat. Ask over and over again, “What am I thankful for?” If people around you are in crappy moods, ask them, “What are you thankful for?” Keep asking. Next thing you know, they are answering the question. You can’t feel shitty if you have happy, thankful thoughts.
Step 3. Replace story. Be aware of the stories you tell yourself. Replace them with what’s true.
Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself?” The third point of The Diamond is your language, your verbiage, your story. What record are you playing over and over and over again? Is it, “I’m not good enough, I’m too fat, too skinny, too slow, too fast, too educated, not educated enough, etc?” Ask yourself what you’re telling yourself now. Became aware of self-talk. Right now I want you to ask yourself, ‘What am I telling myself?’ Become aware of your self-talk. And correct it.
Ask yourself, “Is this true?” It’s likely you’re telling yourself nothing but bullshit. So say this: “No, it’s bullshit.” Say it with certainty, or your elephant won’t pay attention.
Replace it with what’s true. The third step of The Diamond is to replace the bullshit with what is true. You can’t just tell your brain/elephant: “No, that’s bullshit.” You must follow it up with a replacement, or else your elephant is going to keep doing what he’s been doing for as long as you have been alive. You do it like this: ‘What’s true is that I’m amazing. I’m good enough.
I’ve got this.’
So train your elephant by replacing the old, crappy ‘story’ with a new, ‘happy’ story’ about how you feel and think about yourself. To go from crappy to happy, you must repeat this process over and over and over. Then it becomes part of your life and will change it drastically for the better.
Step 4. Source — Connect to the Source. Remember that we are One.
Be quiet for a minute. The fourth point of The Diamond of change is to connect to your higher self, the divine, the Source in you. You are not alone. How do you do that? I usually stop whatever I’m doing for a minute and be quiet. I put my intention and my attention on connecting to the Source. Remember: Where my attention is, that is where I place my energy. So place your energy/attention on the Source.
Speak to the divine, speak to the Source. I usually ask for some help, such as, ‘I’m having a hard time, Source, so please help me, here.’ Get the support you need from the ever-willing, ever-ready Source — but you have to ask, and you have to believe Source will help you.
Then stop and listen. You may hear a word of encouragement or an idea of how to navigate whatever it is that is challenging you. Listen. Is that easy or hard? Easy. Simply invite your higher self, your intuition, the Source to support you!
When you follow and implement these steps, you will take back control of your life and shine! You will understand that changing your physiology is the easiest first step to changing how we feel. And that by asking just one question we can turn everything around and feel differently. We have stories that we constantly tell ourselves that we believe that are actually bullshit , so we need to replace them with a new, empowered, TRUE belief. We also need to remember the importance that we can connect to our higher selves. You now have the four steps of The Diamond on how to control your mental state and your overall state of being:
1. Physiology — smile, breathe, move
2. Thankful — focus on what you’re thankful for, often, repeatedly
3. Story — realize the bullshit you are telling yourself and replace with what is TRUE
4. Source — connect to the Source; remember that we are One
The outcome is to know the three steps on how to change your body to go from crappy to happy, and then practice being grateful, because gratitude is the rocket ship to joy. We don’t have to believe our own bullshit stories; we can change the story and remember that we always have the divine with us at all times, that we don’t have to go through life alone. These four easy steps to happiness allow you to control your emotions — and thereby improve your life!
Implement the steps above, and then come back and let us know what your results are!
