What about Violence, Abuse, Rape, Death?
Will I be able to move on from the big traumas in life? Can I be okay even in the middle of a major trauma?
My best friend, Daniela (Dani), got stabbed nine times.
Somehow, she was able to call me. I was in a meeting, and my overwhelmed mind couldn’t compute as she said, in a weak voice, “I’ve been stabbed.” Though stunned, I suddenly got it, and burst into action. “I’m on my way, stay with me on the phone,” I said. As it happened, I was standing outside the best hospital in town. I ran into the lobby and handed the phone to an attendant there to get Dani’s address correct. Then I ran back into my car and the ambulance, and I tore to her house. On the way, I discovered her attacker had left. Her daughter, Sophia, who was in the house at the time, was untouched.
I stayed on the phone with Dani. I knew enough to keep speaking with her to keep her conscious. I reminded her to put pressure on the wound, assuming she had been stabbed once. She told me that she couldn’t; she didn’t have the strength because she had been stabbed so many times. With those words, the blood drained out of my face. I started working The Diamond. I kept breathing deeply and getting her to breathe as well.
I kept telling myself she would be okay, and I was calling on the Source to please save her. At one point, she said she felt cold. I knew this was a bad sign. I had her visualize a beautiful hot tub of super perfect warm water cascading around her, and I told her I was almost there. I screeched to a halt outside her door, right behind the ambulance. I walked in, and there she was lying on the kitchen floor, blood everywhere, people everywhere. I jumped around the puddles of blood to be at her head. I looked into her terrified eyes and told her she was going to be okay — help was here. The paramedics bandaged her up the best they could, but they didn’t even know at the time, I think, how many times she had been stabbed. They asked which hospital they should take her to. I looked into their eyes and said to the very best one. There was a bit of a debate because there was a different hospital closer. I intuitively knew that to save her it would require the best doctors and equipment!
The good news is that I had trained her on The Diamond. She had asked me to train her, and I sat around our living room table with her family, and I taught her these truths. Then I brought her to a Tony Robbins event, where she and her husband got some more training. Tony teaches the triangle, that he calls The Triad, but I’ve adapted it for me and added the fourth point, connecting to the Source. Who knew that we were preparing for the biggest challenge of her life?
I encouraged her: “Honey, you’re gonna do great, you’re gonna be a bright, shining light of how not to be a victim.“
When we got to the hospital and she was safely in the doctors’ capable hands, I allowed myself to lose my shit, and I gave myself two minutes to cry my eyes out. And then I did what I needed to do to be the friend that she needed at that moment by begging Source to save her life.
She died twice on the operating table. They took one kidney and her spleen. Her kidney was completely obliterated from being stabbed so many times. Dani told me the attacker walked her across the living room with the knife inside her as he repeatedly stabbed her with the knife using the same hole. So there was no way to save the kidney. The next day, her vitals were completely stable. It was a miracle!
You should have seen the doctors’ faces — they could not believe it! She could have been in the hospital for a month to two months, they said. Guess how many days she actually stayed in the hospital? One week! How? Because she controlled her state of mind and state of being. She worked The Diamond of Change over and over until she left that hospital one week later. She continues to work The Diamond to control her state, and she is a bright, shining example of how not to be a victim. The forensic doctor at the trial said these words —and I’ll never forget them — “There’s only one reason Dani is alive, and that’s because she willed herself to be so!” So, yes, working The Diamond helps with even the really big stuff that happens in our lives.
Step 1. Realize the trauma — wake up!
To start, wake up. When you find yourself in a traumatic situation, the best way to keep you from freaking out is to realize that you are starting to freak out and that waking up is huge. It’s the first step to get out of pre-programmed drama and hysterics. I woke up when I felt my system go into overload when Dani told me she had been stabbed so many times. At that moment, I realized I had a choice.
Celebrate that you woke up. Acknowledge that you just jumped off the moving train, and that will help you stay off it. Being able to see yourself separate from the program of freak out will make the difference in how you handle the crisis.
Make your choice. Choose if you will freak out or be okay. It’s really that simple. I know it doesn’t seem that way because the program to lose your shit in traumatic situations is so accepted and expected. But it’s not necessary to let that happen. You can choose to be okay. So make your choice.
Step 2. Work The Diamond.
Breathe, smile, move.
As soon as I became awake and aware while flying down the road to Dani, I started working The Diamond by breathing. So, the first point of The Diamond and the three things you do to change your physiology — which will change how you feel, which helps change how you act — is to smile, breathe, move.
Ask, “What am I thankful for?” In those moments of that situation, I was thankful for ambulances, doctors, nurses, and that I could be there for Dani. I was thankful for hospitals, medicines. The second step in working The Diamond is becoming aware of what you are focusing on. I could have thought how likely it was that she might die, or I could ask what I was grateful for. Which question do you think serves you best? . . . Exactly! Gratitude is the answer!
Ask, “What am I telling myself?” The third point of The Diamond is your language, or self-talk. So I started being conscious of what I was telling myself. I told myself that she would be okay and that she would get the help she needed in time. And that’s exactly what did happen!
Remind yourself who you are and who lives in you. I remembered who lives in me and who I can call on at any time, and so I prayed for help, for guidance. I feel I got that when I had to make the decision on what hospital Dani would be taken to. It was a big decision . . . pick the closest hospital or the best hospital? I was told to choose the best one — thankfully I listened, because I was later told by different sources that she wouldn’t have gotten the extreme care that she needed anywhere else in town. Step 3. Keep working The Diamond, even after two minutes of suffering.
Realize you are having a hard time. When you are going through any difficult or even traumatic situation, it’s important that you let it out. The first step is to realize that you are having a hard time. Again, awareness is the key. I realized this after dealing with the ambulance, doctors, and paperwork alone. It was all a bit much, to say the least.
Let yourself cry or yell to release it. It’s important to release it. I have a standard of giving myself two minutes of suffering.
Go back to working The Diamond and doing/being whatever or whoever you need to be. Smile, breathe, move; think about what you are thankful for; tell yourself the positive truth (you’ve got this); and pray for guidance. Period.
When you follow and implement these steps you will have the skills to help yourself in even the big traumas in life. You will KNOW how to take yourself from freaked out to fine. You will know how to wake up from the pre-programmed Zombie act, and separate yourself from it so that you can make a conscious choice. And also give yourself the chance to lose your shit in a controlled way if you need to. Just like Dani did in being stabbed and willing herself to live. The three steps on how to get through a trauma are:
• Realize the trauma.
• Work The Diamond.
• Keep working the Diamond.
The outcome of this step is to know the three steps well and to get to a place of being able to be conscious. This will help you see that even in the toughest situations you can be okay, and the importance of releasing any stress or trauma so that it doesn’t stay stored in your body. You will learn how — no matter what is going on in your life — this 4-step process can get you through.
Implement the steps above, and then come back and let us know what your results are!
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