There Are Only 2 States of Being
Are you crappy or happy? Those are really the only two states of being.
My nephew, Kyan, gave me those two words: we’re either crappy or happy. You can’t be on the fence: you’re either one or the other, and it’s not hard to tell which one. It’s pretty evident if you’re in a crappy mood, and it’s pretty evident if you’re in a happy mood. There are levels to happiness and there are levels to crappiness, but it’s really not hard to tell which one you are in. So the beautiful thing is that there’s really only two, so it’s easy.
One day when getting ready for work, I went into my closet to pull out a dress and I felt suddenly as if I’d been jammed with a needle through my middle finger, and my brain was trying to make sense of it. I looked at my finger but couldn’t see anything. The pain was enormous! I was confused. Then I saw a small blond scorpion scurrying away to hide elsewhere among my things. I couldn’t even get to him. I quickly went to the sink and ran my finger underwater, but the pain was intense.
I didn’t know what to do. I called Brett, a coworker, and said, “Dude, I just got stung by a scorpion.”
He asked, “What color was it?”
“It was one of those blond ones.”
“Oh, no, those are the bad ones,” he said “You need to go to the hospital.”
I drove to the hospital, holding the steering wheel with my elbows while keeping my finger raised. It looked like I was flipping everyone off as I drove. I realized that I had a choice. I could be in a crappy mood or I could be happy. I literally howled my way to the hospital, both in pain and in total enjoyment of a moment that I decided to consider “freaking funny” — There I was, giving everyone the bird as I was driving! People didn’t know it was because of a scorpion sting. I had a big smile on my face. When I got to the hospital, I was in a great state: in terrible pain, but in a great state anyway.
The doctor told me, “It’s going to hurt like hell for a few hours, but you’ll be fine.”
The point of this is that I actually had a wonderful time in the midst of a horrible time, or what could have been a horrible time. It really wasn’t that bad of a time. I was in a lot of pain, but I was okay because I had changed my mental state. So I celebrated that and gave myself a virtual high five.
Celebrate the progress. You want to give yourself a pat on the back: Yell, “Yes!” Give yourself a high five. Do anything that you can do to acknowledge the moment that you realize that you’re in a crappy state, because in that glorious, glorious moment, you have the chance to choose. In that glorious moment, you are no longer a zombie. You’re no longer the elephant. You are the boy or the girl riding your elephant, and you’re in charge.
Now, you can give the power back to the elephant. You have that choice. You can go back to the whole program of suffering and getting angry or whatever it is, or you can make a different choice, and you can choose to be happy. You have a choice, always you have a choice. So celebrate any time you realize that you are in a crappy mood, because you just woke up, and that is worth celebrating. You’ll also want to reprogram your mind to not beat yourself up, because that’s what we do when we mess up like,” You’re doing it again. I can’t believe you. You know better. Why are you doing that again?” Celebrate! Celebrate! Every time you wake up, celebrate every time you become aware. Celebrate every moment that you know and realize that you’re in a crappy state. Celebrate it — and then change it.
Step 1. Realize the mental state you are in.
Take a second to stop. Stop whatever you are doing or thinking. Take a second to be present. Be here right now with me, here. Stay with me: Be here now.
The second step is to breathe deeply into your lungs. Breathe deeply into the lungs through your nose, hold for five seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhh” (as you should do before each of the steps). Exhale for as long as you can to release any stale air. The “ahhhhhhh” sound helps release stress. Do this three times. I do this often throughout the day, now. It’s amazing! It helps my stress levels so much! So breathe!
Ask yourself, “What state am I in? Am I crappy or happy?” Remember, you are one or the other. So breathe and choose. For me, I woke up right after I got stung. For a moment, I went into the mindset of being a victim, of being stung, by a SCORPION!
It’s not every day you get stung by a scorpion, etc., etc. But then, all of a sudden I was aware of my state, and that it was crappy! I was suffering.
Step 2. Celebrate that you just woke up.
Celebrate that you woke up. As soon as you realize you are in a happy mood or a crappy mood, celebrate! Do something to acknowledge the fact that you just woke the hell up! Woo-hoo!!! That’s exciting!!!!! You were a zombie for a moment, walking aimlessly up against a fence, and now you are an actual live human! Take a moment to choose what you will do from now on to celebrate every time you wake up and realize you are either happy or crappy. Why do we celebrate? It’s to reprogram our minds to not condemn ourselves and think we are less than, which is what we normally do when we realize we are messing up. So celebrate not being a zombie for that moment!
Make a new choice — or continue to suffer. In this glorious moment of waking up, you now have a choice. Choose to be happy, or choose to continue to suffer. Do you want to be happy or crappy? In the example of the scorpion, I was in big-time pain, but I didn’t need to be in big-time suffering. I had a choice. And, thankfully, in that scenario I chose to be happy. I chose to turn that situation into a really funny story. There are plenty of times that I have chosen to continue to suffer. So which is it for you right now?
Celebrate again! If you choose to be happy, then celebrate yourself again!!! That’s amazing! You just changed your life for that moment! Way to go!!! Our thinking determines our emotions, and our emotions dictate how we feel. Just imagine if you did this all day long. Do you see how this could change your day, your week, your month, your year, and your life. Celebrate!
Step 3. Choose to be happy.
The importance of this step is to know that we can choose happiness. It’s not something that just happens to us.
Realize you have a choice to continue to suffer or not. You no longer have to be miserable. Your circumstances don’t have to dictate how you feel. I would say that normally if someone got stung by a scorpion they would be miserable. Any amount of tears, screaming, or drama would be understandable. In fact, the doctor wanted to give me a shot in case of an allergic reaction, and I asked him if he had a pill instead, which he did. I had him give me the pill, “I don’t need any drama,” I said. Now, why would he offer me a shot if a pill would do the trick? Because we are addicted to drama as a civilization. A shot is more dramatic than a pill. So I want you to repeat after me right now, “I have a choice, and I choose to be happy!” Say it till you feel you mean it!
Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I choosing to suffer?” Write down anything that comes to mind, without judging whether it’s good or bad. Come up with at least two or three examples.
With each item on the list you just wrote, ask yourself, “Moving forward, am I going to choose crappy or happy?” Continue down your list and ask the question above again and again, until you have completed your list. We humans like to justify our suffering: ‘I’d be happy if only X and X happened.’ Don’t buy into this bullshit — and it is bullshit. We have a choice, no matter what happens to you. So, moving forward in the things that you normally suffer about, are you going to be crappy or happy?
The outcome of this step is knowing that you can decide how to feel in any and every situation, and you’ll be aware of the consequences and the emotions that follow.
When you follow and implement these steps, you will understand that crappy or happy are really the only two states of being. You will learn that you can choose happiness — just as I chose in the story about my scorpion sting and how I was able to laugh, even though I was in so much pain. You have the steps on how to choose your state:
• Realize the mental state you are in.
• Celebrate that you just woke up.
• Choose to be happy.
Wake up to the mental state that you are in, realizing and seeing yourself apart from the automatic program of your unconscious mind. Celebrating waking up will reprogram your brain to want to wake up more. The truth is that we decide how we feel, and natural consequences and emotions follow. You will learn that it’s super easy to figure out if you’re in a crappy or happy state. And you can do something about it. So choose to be happy!
Implement the steps above, and come back and let us know what your results are!