Small but Mighty!
Sometimes you have to Lead by example. I’m going to share with you how there are times that you just have to step up, fight the system, and lead by example. I will do this by sharing a story from my childhood while on a mission trip to Panama, where I had to make a choice to stand up, even though no one else was. I will share with you the steps on how to find out what you really want, whether or not it’s worth fighting for, and how to stand up and be a leader by speaking your truth. You will also see how by speaking your truth inspires others to do the same. The outcome is that you have the ability to impact others’ lives and also make it where you want. By leading the charge you can enroll others and everyone gets what they want.
So when I was 17, I did my first Missions trip to Panama. It was an amazing experience, I raised the money through the help of supporters and friends to be able to go, and even made enough to help a friend go. We set off on our first flight ever to Florida, where we had our orientation, and then off to Panama. There were about 17 kids and I that went.
The first four weeks were spent building a school in a little town called Chame, where the Mission base was, and to also fix the airstrip in the middle of the jungle near the Darién region, right on the border of Panama and Colombia. The first four weeks were composed of painting, varnishing doors, and electrical work on the new school. My job, for the most part, was pulling wires through the conduit and wiring the contacts. We worked about eight hours a day as a group and got a ton accomplished.
One night, it was time for our team meeting, and John, one of the missionaries from the tribal village we were headed to next, stopped by to brief us on what to expect, and to lay out the plans for the coming days. It was announced that the boys would be hiking into the tribe, and the girls and any boys that didn't want to hike would be flying in. My head snapped back as I thought, "Hell no, no way I'm missing out on the experience of a lifetime. So I spoke up and expressed my desire, leaving out the word "hell", of course. The team leaders flatly told me that no girls were allowed to hike in.
Inside my brain, something snapped. I was determined. There was no way that I was going to miss out on this experience. So I continued to insist. And they kept telling me "No." The team leaders ended up asking me to come into a separate room, they were like, "Amy, you need to stop this, you can't go, it's not good for you to go. It's only for the boys." I responded with my favorite question..." Why? You know, I can do it.” My team leaders were actually from my Mission, back in Canada. They knew me. They grew up with me, they knew I was a badass. They knew that I played sports with the boys, they knew who I was. So I asked, "You know me! What is going on here?"
And of course, they're under pressure. Everybody's under pressure. What are people going to think if word gets out that we let the girls go? What if something happens? But they also knew that I could do it. They really couldn't argue with me in that respect. So I just kept pushing, and finally, I got John the missionary on my side. And like music to my ears he says, " it's okay. If she feels she can do it”, and he looked at me “she can come." at that moment, my soul screamed "Yes!"
But then here's the thing, the other girls who wanted to go felt inspired to go as well. But they were too scared to speak up. They told me on the side that they really want to go too. So I went in to face the leadership again and said, “if I'm going, so are they." Again, it was another big hubbub. "No, no, no, they can't do it." I insisted, "Yes, they can." And long story short, we all got to go!
I remember taking the girls off to the side and saying, "Okay, here's the deal. There is no complaining. There is nothing other than getting where we're going in the best possible way. They got it because they knew if we blew this, no woman ever again would be allowed to go. That's how things worked in my world. So I had this amazing experience because I stuck to my guns and because I refused to back down. Honestly, I was scared. It's not easy to face leadership in my world. It's their way or their way or their way. You see it their way or you don't get out. Well, you might get out, but it would be to be kicked out. That's how it felt. You’re either in trouble, God's not smiling at you, or you're rebellious or you're a backslider. These are some of the terms that you'll be labeled and then it affects your parents in that people might think badly about my parents, if I'm not a good example. It's this snowball effect. So for me to do that at the level that I did... That was a BIG moment for me.
And because of it, I had this epic experience. The boys and a few girls and I took a run-down crappy bus literally down the Pan-American highway all the way to the end of the road. Literally. The bus had to do a 10-point turn to turn around. We got out after a five or seven-hour drive. It was a long one.
We had chickens and tons of people in the bus, and it was standing room only…. everyone's standing in the aisles. It's packed and hot. There's no air conditioning in these buses. When we got to the end of the road we started hiking. And I don't think we were 20 minutes down the road when it started pouring rain, tropical Amazon torrential rain, forcing us to clump through the mud.
I remember the mud got up to our calves at some point, like where you have to pull your leg out and it makes that sucking sound. We were clumping through the mud, and it was challenging. I just kept an eye out for the girls and encourage them from time to time. For a few hours, we hiked through the jungle to this little house. It was a humble cabin with a couple of little buildings surrounding the house for the chickens and other animals. They were beautiful, kind people giving the girls and I their bed.
So there were four of us that slept in the double bed sideways. There were rats and mice and all kinds of things scurrying around, it was my first introduction to cockroaches, rats, and anything of the sort. It was a little freaky, I gotta say. They killed a chicken or two for us, for dinner, by firelight, since we arrived in the dark.
In the morning, when we woke up, we were covered in mud. I have never been more filthy in my life. We had no idea because we couldn't see ourselves. We had no mirrors.
We started hiking again and we set off for the river. Again it started raining and for hours and hours, we hiked and hiked and hiked. Us girls, leaned on each other, helped each other, and made sure that we all got to the river.
At the river, the tribal people were there with their dugout canoes. A dugout canoe is literally a tree that's dug out, so you can sit in it and float. They're super tippy. The tribal people were there waiting for us, so we piled into the boats. I remember laying up against a big stock of bananas in 2 inches of water. I had never seen a stock of bananas. I didn't know that bananas came in a massive stock. There must have been 100 bananas on it.
We're going down the river and... well, they don't have paddles, they have poles. They stand up, one guy in the front and one in the back. They stick the pole into the riverbed, and push down on it and push the boat forward. And that's how you get up the river. It seemed like almost every time they pushed off, more water would come in over the top. I was literally in heaven. I was so happy to be on that adventure. I love adventure. So I’m sitting there with this huge smile on my face when all of a sudden I get a sting on my shoulder and I look down, and there’s the largest ant I’ve ever seen. The pinchers were so big… the ant was like an inch long, it was huge… and its pinchers were in my skin. I remember grabbing it with my shirt and yanking it out of my shoulder. It made a big welt and I thought, “Oh, wow. Here we go.”
To this day it was the most epic river trip I’ve ever been on. There were literally boa constrictors hanging in the trees, and alligators resting on the riverbanks... I thought I was in a movie. I couldn't have been happier. I Couldn't have been in a more blissful state than on that adventure. Had I not fought for it, had I not insisted, I would never have had it. I would never have had the experience. I would have settled and not had that story to tell.
How you can learn from me…
1. Become aware of whatever it is that you really want
What's important about this step is that sometimes we as humans, without noticing, live our lives for others instead of ourselves.
I do this step in my story by realizing when something was taken away from me just because I was a girl, something in me snapped and I was unwilling to accept that.
To start…
You hear something that doesn't resonate with you " you can't go because you are a girl"
When you hear something that doesn’t resonate with you, like in my case “you can’t go because you are a girl”, wake up and realize. Pay attention to how you are feeling about it. I felt something snap in my brain. You might have another sensation but pay attention. Emotions affect our physical body and the more we pay attention to our bodies and emotions the more we can consciously decide what to do next. The best way to do this is to stop and listen to your inner voice and scan your body with your intention. This can only take a few seconds, but it’s important to do it.
2. If it’s Bullshit it’s Bullshit
If what you hear is bullshit, call it bullshit. Don’t settle. When you label it like that it can help you separate it from the program. So many of us have been programmed to just take whatever is thrown at us. If it’s bullshit, call it as it is. I usually say this out loud, which makes it more real for me. You can say it internally too if you want, but acknowledging it is the key.
3. You decide what is true for you - I am capable of going on this trip no matter what gender I am and will do so!
Then you want to decide what is true for you. Sometimes things are bullshit and you can let them be that way and go along anyway to save a battle. And sometimes it's one of those things that you just can’t let go of and need to live your truth. I decided that I was capable, truly, of going on the trip. I knew that I would in no way affect the trip or ruin it for anyone. This was true. Find your truth. Don’t go with your first reaction, think and feel it through. You can copy what I do if you want. I stop wherever I am and ask myself “what is true? Listen to the answer. If you need a quiet space, go there. What’s important is that you take a minute to become aware of this could be a time to stand up for yourself or not.
The outcome of this step is a full understanding of what you want.
2. Decide if it's worth going for or not, know why you want to fight to have it, and what are the consequences if you don't go for it.
What's important about this step is the importance of picking your battles. Picking only the ones that are the most important to you or else you could be fighting all the time.
I do this step in my story by thinking about me going home knowing I chickened out and didn't speak up. That I wouldn't have the experience of hiking through the rainforest. No way I was going to miss out on that.
Here’s how you do it…
A: If I don't stand up what is the benefit?
If it turns out that this is worth fighting for then take some extra time to get even more clear. To do this find a quiet place to sit where there are no distractions. It would be good to pick a time when you are completely alone to ensure this. Sit in a comfortable position. I will sit cross-legged if I know I won’t be sitting longer than 30 minutes, if I think I’ll be sitting longer, I'll sit in a comfortable chair. Keep a good posture of shoulders back and a straight spine, to keep energies flowing freely. Breathe deep into the lungs through your nose, hold for 5 seconds and exhale through your mouth making the sound “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Exhale for as long as you can to release any stale air. The Ahhhh sound helps release stress. After you complete your breathing, After at least three deep breaths, ask your higher self the question,” if I do stand up for myself, what is the benefit, or payoff.?” or “What will I get out of it?” For me, it was all about wanting to have that experience, that adventure! I wanted to know, feel and see the amazon jungle. I wanted to experience everything there was to experience and was willing to be uncomfortable to get it. Ask the question three times. Listen to your inner voice and write down a list of benefits and reasons to make a stand. This should take you 3-5 min.
B: What is the cost?
Then breathe three more times and ask yourself, “ What is the cost if I don’t take a stand?” Ask the question at least three times and listen for the answers. Write them down. It’s important to write all of your thoughts down as seeing them on the paper separate from you helps you to dissect the program and get clear for yourself. For me the cost was that I would miss out on the adventure, I wouldn’t know what it was like to drive to the end of the Pan American highway, and I wouldn’t know what it was like to hike through a real jungle. I wouldn’t make those epic memories. Listen to your inner voice. This should take 3 -5 min to complete.
C: Is it worth it?/Make your choice.
Once that is completed ask your higher self the final question and that is this. “Is it worth it to take a stand?” Again ask the question at least three times and listen. Fear could rear its ugly head at this moment. Breathe deep into the bottom of your lungs. Ask the question again. You will know deep down( that’s your intuition) what you really feel you want to do. In that moment of knowing, make your choice. My Coach/ Teacher/ Guru/ Healer Josh taught me this. “If you seek an answer and don’t find it, that’s your answer.” Let me say that again, “If you seek an answer and don’t find it, that’s your answer.” That means to me, that you need to wait. It’s not the right time. Because when it is the right time, you will know. For me I knew, I knew there was no way I was going to miss out on that adventure of hiking through the jungle to the village. I was going to make that happen. It was worth it to do whatever, and face whomever, in order to make it a reality. And I did. And it was definitely worth it!
The outcome of this step is to have clarity and understanding of the cost and consequence of fighting or not.
Step 3. Stand up, speak up, insist, add value, be persistent, lead
What's important about this step is that if the cost is too great and you don't choose to go with what is right for you you will resent yourself and the people involved not knowing what might have happened if you had tried.
I did this step in my story by speaking up and insisting that I go. That I could handle it just fine, giving examples of my athleticism, etc, multiple meetings to convince them but I did.
You should start immediately by taking your own action, here’s how:
A. Know what you want to do
Ok, so you know what you want but how do you actually take a stand? Knowing what you want clearly is the first step. You must know and understand the pros and the cons and you’ve done that brilliantly. So pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for taking the time to listen to your higher self! Clarity and conviction of that clarity will take you miles closer and faster to the outcome that you want. I know that if I hadn’t been as clear and as full of conviction as I was, there was no way I would have been able to convince them to allow me to go. So congratulate yourself and smile!
B. Open your mouth and speak up, express yourself
Now it’s time to open your mouth. Just start talking. Push through the fear. Start. I was terrified. You don’t question authority in my world, especially as a girl. So I just had to start talking. I had to open my mouth and say ‘“but I want to go, I can do it!” All eyes turned and stared at me in surprise, but I kept going. My stomach was in knots but I kept opening my mouth, “I want to go!” The importance of expressing yourself is massive. When we don’t we stuff our emotions in and it creates physical and energetic blocks in our bodies. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to want what you want, to like what and who you like. It is important to express yourself! So express yourself, let it out! This should only take a minute or so. A further conversation may follow but getting those first few words out only takes a minute and they are the most important words!
C. Take whatever action you can take towards your goal.
Ok so the words are out, now it’s time to take action. If there is something to do, do it. If there is someone else to talk to about it, do it. Move. Take action. Make it happen. I did this by talking to the team leaders and then the missionary and then the team leaders again until I got my outcome. This could take a few minutes or a few days to figure out, but figure it out. Find the way!
The outcome of this step is to express yourself in a mature, controlled way with strength and conviction to get the desired outcome.
Step 4. Who followed you and how did that impact their lives
What's important about this step is the understanding that your choices rarely don't affect others. So knowing and understanding who else this will affect and how to minimize damages or even better how to make it a win win win for everyone!
I did this step in the story by helping and inspiring the other girls who wanted to hike in as well to be able to do so. Therefore we all went home with an epic experience!
Here’s how you do it:
Look around and see who is this going to affect.
Another thing to do in this process is to look around and see who else your actions are going to affect. It rarely only affects you. In my case, it was the other girls that also wanted to go. They may have settled had I not spoken up and then later fought for them to allow them to go as well. Pay attention to who else could be affected.
2. Minimize damages
It’s then important to minimize damages for yourself and for the others involved. How I did that in this example is I took responsibility for myself. I did not become a burden. I traveled and hiked and did all I needed to do with no complaint and helped and contributed where I could.
3. Enroll or make a win win win for everyone involved
What’s always a great idea is to look for ways to make a situation a win win win for everyone. I was able to do that by saving a whole flight into the tribal village as 4 extra people were hiking in. I also was able to help and encourage the other girls that they could do it, which empowered them and they created a new standard for themselves on what they could do and what is possible. So take a look around, and get creative. Ask yourself “ how can I make this situation a win win win for everyone involved?
The outcome is that you have the ability to impact others’ lives and also make it where what you want is also what others want who maybe don't have the guts to say so. By leading the charge you can enroll others and everyone gets what they want.
So sometimes you need to lead by example. Sometimes you need to step up and fight the current system. It is important to know what’s important to you, to know when the time is right to stand up and speak your truth. You will do this by asking these questions or following these steps:
1. Become aware of whatever it is that you really want
2. Decide if it's worth going for or not, know why you want to fight to have it, and what are the consequences if you don't go for it
Step 3. Stand up, speak up, insist, add value, be persistent, lead
This allows you to stay congruent with yourself, allows you to experience things that your heart desires, and helps inspire others to do the same. Not accepting the status quo and swimming upstream has its advantages.
Your Action Steps: Implement the steps above and come back and let us know what your results are!
READ the whole story http://www.getyourshittogether.life