Victim or Victor, which is it?
Life is Happening for you, not to you. But we are programmed to feel victimized, it's our go-to thought. Catch it. The importance is that unless you replace the old thought with a new one the old one is going to play. In this blog post, I will help you take on a new philosophy. I do this by sharing the story of being in the ambulance with Dani believing Dani was going to die. Here are the steps to create a new empowering philosophy.
1. Become aware of my mind, telling me I'm a victim.
2. Replace it with new belief that "life is happening for me".
3. Believe it. Trust it.
Often as humans, our first thought in a situation is poor me, but you can change your thinking from victim to Victor! It’s important to trust the new philosophy. And that when adopted, it will transform your life for the better! Imagine not spending your life as a victim anymore, but instead living like the victor that you are!
What separates you from a victim or a victor? It's your perspective. It's how you see things. One of the most unbelievable examples that I have to share on this matter is the story about my girlfriend, Dani, when she was stabbed nine times and we were in the ambulance together. I shoved my foot under one set of legs and wheels and the other foot under the other wheels to try to get some balance. I lifted her head underneath my hands and I held her head as we flew down the highway, siren blaring. I looked down into her big brown puppy dog eyes, and I can see how scared she is and this overwhelming wave of fear passed over me. I wanted to puke. I wanted to cry. I wanted to collapse. The fear was this, that I was going to lose my best friend. I felt I was going to lose her because I knew she probably had a very small percentage to survive. Maybe 20, 30% chance of survival, because I've seen too much of this in New Guinea when I worked there as a missionary and had to deal with trauma emergencies.
I had this overwhelming fear and it was crippling, but then I remembered my training. I remembered the phrase that I learned from my amazing mentor, Tony Robbins. And it's this, that life is happening for you. Not to you. Life is happening for you, not to you, Amy. This is what I heard the voice say. And I had this other realization that said, oh my goodness, if life is happening for me and I'm not more special than anybody else on the planet. Then that means life is also happening for Dani and she just got stabbed nine times.
And so I was able in that moment of realization to look down at her big brown eyes and say,” you've got this girl. Everything is working out. Look, you're in an ambulance. You are not alone on the floor. We are in an ambulance. We are getting help. They know what they're doing. There's a hospital that we can actually go to. Every cell in your body right now is working for you. It is clotting the blood. It is keeping you from bleeding out. You are healing right now. Here’s what we're going to do. When you get through this, we're going to do so many amazing things and we're going to travel.” And I asked her, "Where do you want to go?" I'm like, "You want to go to New York?" Right? And she nodded, I said, "Okay, let's go to New York. We'll go to New York and we'll see snow. She has never seen snow and I knew she really wanted to, and we'll see the lights at Christmas. And we're going to have that experience together someday. And Sophi, you're going to see Sophi grow up. Sophia is her daughter. “Sophie needs you." I prayed to The Divine for help and kept encouraging her the best I could.
I was able to do that because I have a philosophy and a belief system that Life is Happening For Me, not TO me, period. Here's the thing with this philosophy. You can't sometimes think about it and agree to it. And other times not, you'll either take that on or you believe that you're a victim and life is out to get you.
It's a lot more fun to believe that life is happening for you. When you're looking for the gifts, guess what? You find them. The negative is available to you at any time, and so is the positive. Both are available to you. So thankfully I was able to get my shit together and was able to be the friend that she needed me to be in that moment. How? Because I remembered that life is happening for us, not to us. And she knows this too and she lives that out. Will you?
How you can learn from me…
1. Become aware of my mind, telling me I'm a victim
The importance of this step is that we are programmed to feel victimized, it's most of our go-to thought. Catch it.
I do this step by sharing the story of being in the ambulance with Dani thinking and feeling like Dani is going to die and I'm going to lose my best friend.
To start…
Wake up to the thought of poor me.
In order to not be a victim we have to first wake up to the fact that we think that we are. As soon as you hear yourself say “poor me”, Give yourself a pat on the back, because you just woke up! You just became separate from the program and can see yourself. For me, it was on the ambulance ride. I was terrified I was going to lose my best friend, and then I could hear myself say “poor me”, yikes, no. Right now I want you to ask your Higher self, “where in my life do I feel like a victim?” Write down anything that comes to mind. This will take 3-5 min.
B: Work the diamond.
2. The second step is to work the diamond.
The Diamond is a 4 step process of getting your shit together and changing your state. The first step is to change the position of your body by smiling, breathing, and moving it. The second point is to change what you are focused on and ask yourself “what am I thankful for?” The third step is to replace the bullshit you are telling yourself, like in this instance, Dani is going to die, to, she's going to come out with flying colors. And the fourth point of the diamond is to connect to Source and know you are not alone and ask for Divine Help. So right now I want you to go through the steps of working the diamond in regard to your example of feeling like a victim. This will take 3-5 mins
3. Choose a new thought
The third step is to choose a new thought to believe overall. In other words, choose a new philosophy. Would you agree that the “poor me” thinking does not ultimately serve you?” Exactly. So I encourage you to adopt the one that I now have and that’s this. Life is happening for me, not to me. Life is happening for me, not to me. Say it with me, “ Life is happening for me, not to me.” Say it again, “ Life is happening for me, not to me.” Now how does that feel? Better no? This should just take 2-3 min to complete. I suggest you write it down and place it all over your house and car. Do it!
The outcome of this step is to know that often our first thought in a situation is poor me.
2. Replace it with a new belief that "life is happening for me"
The importance of this step is that unless you replace the old thought with a new one the old one is going to play.
I do this step by sharing the story of being in the ambulance with Dani, thinking about Life is happening for me, not to me and that means it's also happening for her too.
Here’s how you do it…
A: Ask yourself " what is true here and now?"
So let's fine-tune this a bit more. You must replace the old thought with the new thought. It wouldn’t have worked for me to think, Dani is going to die, then tell myself,” no don’t think that”. The brain will keep running the loop, looking for ways to prove you right. In order to change your mind and train your elephant you must replace the thought with a new one. You can snap yourself out of it, by asking yourself this question “What is true here and now? Why do we ask that, because here and now is all that matters. Our minds tend to create terrible things for our future. Right here and now, she is alive. Period. What is true for you here and now? This will take 3-5 min to complete.
B: Ask Yourself " What do you want to be true in the future?" believe that, see that.
Then you want to ask yourself, " What do you want to be true in the future?" believe that, see that. Describe in detail to yourself or others what it is that you would like to see happen. Until proven otherwise, it’s a possibility. This is why I went on and on about all that we would do together, all the fun we would have so that she would believe she would live and so would I. So ask yourself, “What do I want to be true in the future?” Write down and then say out loud what you wrote down. Declare it! Own it! This will take 3-5 min.
C: Tell yourself " Life is Happening for you, not to you!"
The third step is to remind yourself again that “Life is Happening For You, Not to you! Period. Yes, I’m stressing this point a lot, why? Because this philosophy alone with completely transform your life. Do not blow over this. Incorporate it into your life. Teach your kids, your spouse, and everyone who will listen. If we would all just have this philosophy it would completely change the world. You can start with yourself and your world. The ripple effect will be epic. Life is Happening For You!!
The outcome of this step is a chance to change your thinking from victim to Victor!
Step 3. Believe it. Trust it.
The importance of this step is to believe in the new philosophy.
I do this step by sharing how I shared with Dani all the things that were happening right now in the moment and in the future that we would do together and all the fun we would have after she gets through this.
Here’s what you want to do…
Choose to trust it - the alternative is misery
Ok, so hopefully you have made a choice to adopt this new philosophy that you are no longer a victim but that Life is actually happening for you. I want to point out in order for this to stick, you need to trust it. Make a conscious choice right now to trust me, to trust it. If you don’t then tomorrow you will likely go right back to the belief that the world is out to get you and that means misery. Not because you are not awesome, but because that is the program that the majority of the world runs on. To change a program that strong, you need to put even stronger intentions into place. So if you choose to seriously adopt this new philosophy that, Life is happening For Me NOT to me, then repeat after me, with conviction….I trust my new empowering belief that Life is happening For me, not to me.”
2. Trust it so much that you can see and visualize great things happening in the moment and things to come.
The second step is to trust your new philosophy, that life is happening for you, so much that you can see and visualize great things happening in the moment and things to come. So practice that right now, imagine and visualize everything you would like to see happen in your life, how you’d like to feel, see it all happening and smile. Life is happening for you!
3. Repeat repeat repeat.
The third step is to repeat, repeat, repeat. Repeat over and over what it is you’d like to see happen and repeat over and over that life is happening for you. This is how you reprogram your mind/elephant. This is how you transform your life. Repeat after me, ”I trust my new empowering belief that Life is happening For me, not to me.
The outcome of this step is to trust the new philosophy.
When you follow and implement these steps you will have a new understanding that Life is Happening for you, not to you. You will know that the importance is that unless you replace the old thought with a new one the old one is going to play. I do this by sharing the story of being in the ambulance with Dani believing Dani was going to die and how I was able to remember that Life was happening for us both! Here are the steps to create a new empowering philosophy.
1. Become aware of your mind, telling you you are a victim.
2. Replace it with a new belief that "life is happening for me".
3. Believe it. Trust it. The hope is that you will change your thinking from victim to Victor!
Trust the new philosophy, and that when adopted, it will transform your life from victim to victory!
Your Action Steps Are to implement the steps above, and come back and let us know what your results are!
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